Project 365

Progress Pics: 130lbs Down Yo!

2011-10-15T18:49:00.000-04:00

Happy Saturday All!

And what a happy one it is as I'm excited to be sharing my 6th installment of progress pictures today! I've officially lost 130lbs and since I'm posting progress pics every 20lbs down, it's that time again! Unfortunately I don't see quite as big of a difference between these pics from the ones 20lbs ago but I feel it and I guess that's all that matters. Because it would take too long to post all the pics I'm just gonna post my first ones (taken at 333lbs), my previous progress pic (taken at 244lbs) and this one. So without further adieu...

(haha, clearly I didn't have anyone there to take the pic so you'll have to excuse my attempt to fit in the pic!!)

There you have it folks- I'm trucking right along fighting the good fight every step of the way. My brain is a little too scattered right now to compose a coherent post but I promise to check back in later this week with some thoughts for ya.

(PS- MELISSA- why can't I comment on your blog my dear???? I've been trying but it won't allow me :(

Have a great weekend ya'll!

Time to FIGHT!

2011-10-06T07:48:00.000-04:00

Hello friends!

The last two months have been a whirlwind- between being in DC for 2 weeks for work & then trying to catch up with everything at home from being away- I'm just finally getting to the place where I have a grip on life again!

Life is good but it's felt a little bit like a roller coaster lately and while I haven't gained any weight because of it, I know that I wasn't doing my best for a couple weeks. Right now I'm weighing in at 225lbs, for a total loss of 127lbs since beginning this journey 1 1/2 years ago at 352lbs! As I've shared before I have felt a little directionless since meeting my 100lb goal since I really don't know how much weight I'm trying to lose in total, and the directionlessness has unfortunately shown in the mediocrity with which I've been moving along on this journey.

Well friends, I have found myself a new goal & have since gained direction once again and I'm excited to share it with ya'll today! I want to be under 200lbs by the end of the year- meaning I have approx 12 weeks to lose 25lbs! Looking back at my progress in the last couple months I've been averaging a loss of about 1.5lbs per week, which isn't shabby but I know I can do better because I'm not doing my best to even get the 1.5lb loss. Consistantly losing 2lbs per week is not going to be easy and it's going to take me truly getting back to a place of discipline and sacrifice- something I've wandered from recently & am ready to fight for.

Now, I don't believe I've lost 25lbs in a 3 month period since the beginning of this journey but I'm going to fight tooth & nail for what I want and what I deserve- AND I DESERVE TO BE UNDER 200LBS!

How am I going to do it? The same way I've lost this 127lbs:
- Tracking everything I eat through the My Fitness Pal App.
- Staying within my 1500 calorie budget every day.
- Do 1 hour of Cardio (usually spin) 4x's per week.
- Do HIIT strength training 3x's per week under the supervision of my trainer JZ.

Simple Plan. But one that requires dedication & sacrifice- particularly through this Holiday season.

Anyone with me in finishing out 2011 STRONGER THAN EVER?

p.s. I'm only 1lb away from my next set of progress pictures so fingers crossed that I'll be sharing them in next week's post! But until then, here's a sneak peek!

This was me at the beginning of my journey 12/09 And then me 2 weeks ago in DC!

What I Eat: I'm Not Afraid!

2011-09-01T07:38:00.000-04:00

I am definitely a big believer that weightloss is 15% exercise and 85% nutrition- and it has been living by that principle that has helped me lose 121lbs to date (today's weigh in had me at 2lbs down!)

However, one of the most daunting tasks that has plagued me ever since I started this journey over a year and half ago was the fact that I really don't know how to cook that many meals (especially not nurtitious ones!) nor do I really care to know how- and although I've had to put my big girl pants on and learn how to cook veggies and implement new recipes, I can say that it is possible to lose weight, eat in a healthy way, and not turn into a wannabe-gourmet chef. Please hear me, if clean eating/cooking is your passion and you wouldn't dare consider eating a frozen dinner, MORE POWER TO YOU- but, that's not me and although I knew I would have to step outside of my comfort zone so that my diet didn't consist of all things white, fried, and buttery, I'm losing weight by eating in a way that is nutritious, yet realistic for MY lifestyle which (SHOCKER) often includes eating:

- Healthy Choice Meals
- Drinking Diet Soda
- Putting Creamer in my Coffee
- Enjoying SmartOnes Desserts

Maybe it's silly but for awhile I've been ashamed to admit that I still make those choices a regular part of my diet- as if I ever ate something with preservatives in it the weight would just never leave. I knew from the beginning that what I ate was going to have to change in a MAJOR way (and it HAS!) but I continue to choose my battles according to my priorities and I know that for me, monitoring my daily calorie/carb/fat intake is just what's most important in this journey right now. Ahhh- maybe no one else struggles with having no desire to cook or kick all things preserved/frozen out of their lives and feels guilty about it- but I just needed to get that off my chest and encourage anyone that feels overwhelmed by cooking and what seems to feel like an obligation to become an organic/clean eating/vegan chef/eater that IT'S OKAY, you can still lose weight if you monitor your calories/carbs/fat, keep a strict food journal, and are honest with yourself.

Ok, venting sesh over :)

And because I can be cooking challenged, one of the reasons I enjoy reading blogs is to get healthy meal ideas from other bloggers- I love seeing what you're eating and creating- so I figured I would share what my eats have been this week (yes, I pretty much eat the same thing everyday, for one week- it's what works for me!)- and you've already been warned that none of it is very culinarily impressive :)

Dinner one night was this yummy salad! (Consisting of: romaine, spring mix, Trader Joe's reduced fat shaved parmesan, slivered almonds, and TJ's cranberry garganzola dressing (LUV!)

Lunch for this week was a new recipe I tried (pat on the back for me!); chicken fried rice! It consisted of: minute brown rice, egg whites, white meat from a rotisserie chicken, 1 bag of mixed veggie steamers, lots of garlic and garlic powder, and lite sodium soy sauce. 280 calories for a 1 1/4 cup serving! Here's an up close shot:

Nothing super fancy, but I was definitely impressed with myself and it was YUMMY. Next time I plan on trying to make a Vietnamese version with Jasmine rice and coconut milk.

This was one of my snacks this week (I usually eat 2 per day); Trader Joes pretzel slims (23 for 110 calories), with a serving of TJ's garlic hummus. Yum!

My dinner from last night: Lean Cuisine 4 cheese frozen pizza (with some mushrooms I added) and a diet Arizona green tea.

I've just gotta keep it simple. Right now I'm staying within a 1500 calorie budget and plan to move it down to 1400 by the end of September. So, what about you guys- have any of you struggled with not caring to learn to cook or just not having the experience? Are frozen meals still a part of your diet? Psst- there's no shame if you have totally kicked them out either!

Alright- that's all for me today! Hope everyone is kicking butt! Oh- and if you haven't gotten a chance to check out my Israel Blog Site- please do! Especially because the rest of the MULA is due today and I still have a wayyyyyyys to go! :) You can visit it at: www.youcansend.me/tiffanyhendrix

Peace out ya'll!

Beating Temptation & Israel!

2011-08-26T12:29:00.000-04:00

Happy Friday Friends!

This week my mind has been on food. Since beginning this journey over 1.5 years ago I haven't ever really had killer cravings that I just couldn't handle (lucky, right?) and although I know there will never be any craving that comes my way that I can't handle (1 Corinthians 10:13), I certainly have had my share of close calls this week. We all know that just because we made 1 decision one day that we'd like to lose weight and become healthy that doesn't mean that suddenly our tastebuds for all things salty, sweet, and creamy go away- the 1 decision to lose weight is really just 1 of a million and is probably the easiest one you'll ever get to make on this journey.

The hard part comes when everyone else in the office is eating pound cake, ordering Chinese take out, and chowing down on fried chicken (yes, all 3 have happened at my work in just the last 2 weeks!) or when you've been "doing SO good" and just feel like rewarding yourself with a candy bar or fat/sugar filled fancy coffee drink (can you tell I'm speaking from experience here???) and it is THOSE small decisions that really is where the victory is lost or won.

SO- how do I handle what sometimes feels like cravings that are just impossible to say no to? (BTW- by cravings I'm referring to something that is not something you've PLANNED to eat and will not help you get toward your goal and live in freedom):

1) The battle here really isn't stomach vs. mind...it's really just all in our minds so that's where all of the "work" that I have to do in these situations takes place. I first ask myself a few different questions:
- If you give into this craving, who will be in control? The food or you?
- Why are you trying to put the imprisoning handcuffs of being addicted to food back on when they did nothing but harm you before?

2) I'll remind myself of my goals (therefore it's obviously important to first have clearly defined goals!) and decide which I would rather have...that reese's peanut butter cup or the satisfaction of getting into ONEderland at the end of the year?

3) I play pretend! I know this one might seem a little strange or weird but I can't tell you how many times it's saved me from chowing down on some nachos: I pretend that I'm a contestant on the Biggest Loser and then ask msyelf what I would think of myself if I was sneaking nachos while I was on the show? I remember when Rulon was chowing down on tortilla chips last seaons and I remember thinking, "What is he doing? Doesn't he know that doing that is just going to get him right back where he started from? What is his problem?" and yet I don't think it's that big of a deal if I were to sneak some stuff I knew wasn't good for me. Just because I'm not on the biggest loser doesn't mean I'm not big enough to be or that my situation is any less serious than theirs- and even though America isn't watching me, my friends, family, and co-workers are and they need someone to inspire them and show them that they can do it to. I'm in the same boat and I need to act accordingly.

Hopefully some of my little tricks will be helpful to some of you the next time you feel like you are being hard pressed to make any form of healthy decision. However, when all else fails (even my questions, mantras, and playing pretend), I can rely on the word of God that NEVER FAILS : "No temptation has come to you that is not common to the human race; and God is faithful- He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear- but when you are tempted He will also provide a way out, so that you can stand up under the temptation." 1 Cor 10:13. Sometimes it is just comforting for me to remember that even though something may seem inevitable or unbearable, it's not- I can have control.

Also, because as I mentioned in my last post I've been on a kick of comparing pics from this years events to last year's, I thought I'd share another set; the pics below are of me from an event we do every year called Hope 4 the 'Burgh where we provide back to school items and health screening services to needy families in our community:

I'm guessing you can tell the one of me in the red is from last August and the one of me in green is from just a week or two ago. I can look at pics like this and remind myself of why making the right choices in all of the tempting situations truly is worth it.

As I head out, I did want to share about a new adventure coming up in my life- in 3 months I will be traveling with a few friends from my church to the nation of Israel. I cannot even begin to explain how excited I am about this opportunity- if any of you would be interested in learning more about the trip, why I'm going, or be intersted in helping me raise the remaining $1500 I need by next week to get there you can do it at my Israel blog site. Any help or prayers would be greatly appreciated :)

Changes that Change has Brought:

2011-08-22T15:03:00.000-04:00

Hello there!

Wow, I feel like life is flying by! Not only because I feel like I just posted last week and it was more like last month but also because now that I've been on this journey for awhile I'm beginning to see some repeat yearly events coming and it's crazy to look at pics of myself at them last year compared to this year. Last year I destinctly remember posting pics from when my friends and I went to the Pirate game and thinking, "Wow, I'm looking really good!" and now I look at them and think, "Wow, I was really big!" See what I mean?

Right now I am officially down 119lbs (weighing in at 233lbs) and I'm truthfully beginning to reap some of the benefits and seeing many changes that come from having lost 119lbs- some that I was hoping for and are a bit more expected and other's not so much. Today I thought I'd share what some of these things with ya:

- One of the more obvious changes has had to do with clothes. I'm still generally shopping in the plus size section but instead of wearing the biggest size jeans available, I'm now comfortably wearing something around a size 18 pant and I don't really fit in any plus size shirts at all. I wouldn't say that anything has dramatically changed with my wardrobe as of yet other then that I'll actually wear short sleve shirts nowadays (still haven't quite made it there on the sleeveless tops although I'm sure I'll get there); I've also become just a tad more bit comfortable wearing dresses as showcased in this dress I wore to my bff's rehearsal dinner for her wedding:

I mean dresses definitely are still not my first pic but I'm a bit more comfortable showing my legs these days- although shorts will definitely NOT be happening anytime soon! Things I'm still looking forward to in this area with these last 40-50lbs: Wearing sleevelss tops, wearing shorts, and eventually feeling comfortable wearing a swimsuit- not sure how but I somehow avoided having to wear a swimsuit at all this summer!

- Another change has to do with the opposite sex. To put it bluntly I don't really ever remember any guy that wasn't some perv ever really expressing interest in me during my adult life; while I find this kind of sad I also know that it kept me out of a lot of trouble during my earlier years which I'm thankful for. Particularly recently, this has begun to change. I wouldn't say that it's non-stop but the fact that I've been asked out twice in the last week or so is a definite difference from how things were before. I remember always thinking that it was shallow and ridiculous for a guy to not be into me just because I was overweight but I now see things very differently. I still don't think that it's okay for someone to base their feelings for you purely based off of physical appearance but I now know that for someone to be 150+lbs overweight is evidence that there are some deeper issues that I can understand not being attractive to someone. In fact, I'm not sure how I would feel about dating someone who wast that overweight- obviously there could always be an exception but I want to marry someone that is going to make me better and that I can truly enjoy life with- not watch them slowly kill themselves with food.

- Extra skin. This is a topic that I'll be addressing more here in the near future but I've found out that having saggy loose skin is an unfortunate reality that comes along with losing an excessive amount of weight. From what I've seen everyone's body is different and it handles losing weight differently- someone may hardly have any lose skin while someone else may have an excessive amount. Again, I'll be talking about this more here in the very near future :)

- One of the changes that seem to sneak by all too easily is just how much easier the little things in life are. It has only been recently that I've had to force myself to remember how difficult turning over in bed had become, or tying my shoes, or fitting in chairs, or finding clothes that fit. Now that I've lost 119lbs I'm able to ride in an airplane with extra room in the seatbelt instead of having to use an extender, walk distances without getting winded, and just go through life without the extra struggle. In short, I feel more normal.

What are some of the great/unexpted changes you've encountered or are hoping to encounter as you go along your journey?

4 Unforseen Challenges I'm Facing...

2011-07-26T22:12:00.000-04:00

I would say in the last 3 months I've felt a major lack of motivation towards losing weight even though I still have about 55lbs left to lose. It's shown itself in a bunch of different ways:

1) I could care less to measure myself or set goals, something I would literally anticipate so much that I'd write it down in my planner!
2) I spend SO much less time reading about health & weight loss (whether via blog, article, or magazine).
3) My fervor for working out has waned.
4) I really have no desire to try new foods or healthy recipes.

Luckily, by God's grace and the fact that so much of my healthy lifestyle has just become habit, it hasn't really stopped my weight loss or me from working out altogether- I'm currently down 112lbs and am weighing in at 240lbs, it's just that things have been feeling SO different.

Tonight, after dragging myself out the door to the most intense (and rewarding) spin class yet followed by a quick HIIT session at home, I finally decided that I needed to get to the bottom of this weird apathetic feeling towards continuing to be a bad a** at weight loss like I've always been. And again, by God's grace I feel like He (God) clued me in a little bit as to why I'm struggling right now and what I can do to change (fyi- If you haven't invited God into your weight loss journey, you really should start thinking about it- b/c He cares) and really it's all about some unforseen challenges that I never could have predicted or prepared for at the beginning stages of my weight loss b/c the challenges were different then; so here's what I realized tonight:

1) Unforseen Challenge: I lost a lot of my drive, focus, and motivation after I lost 100lbs. For over a year losing 100lbs was the one HUGE goal that I was working towards and had never even come close to attaining before, and although I knew I would still need to lose more weight after hitting a 100lb loss, I really had never given much thought or put any desire towards what my true long term goal really is. The Bible says, "without vision the people perish;" and I can definitely see that is what happened in my case. After I lost 100lbs, I kind of have been feeling directionless. I am the kind of person that needs a goal, needs to have a picture in my head (a vision) of what it is that I'm sacrificing for and working out so hard for, and I really haven't had that. Solution: I'm still not sure what my exact goal end # is (and I'm okay with that), but my goal is to be at 199lbs on December 31st b/c I want to end 2011 being completely out of the 200's- something that even now I can hardly imagine. So, that's my goal- I know it won't be easy to lose 41lbs in 5 months but I know what my best is and I believe my best is good enough to do that!

2) Unforseen Challenge: While I can't believe I haven't shared the whole long/hilarious/ridiculous story with ya'll yet, a little over 2 months ago I visited a chiropractor (just for kicks) who told me that I had some major issues with the alignment in my neck, which then caused me to not only pass out in the office but also to later throw up b/c I was so overwhelmed, and he advised me that jogging probably wasn't the best thing for me unless I was planning to get adjusted every week. For me this news was a little bit of a blow as most of you know running a 5K was kind of like my dream and I had slowly begun the C25K program and had gotten up to running for about 2minutes straight (a major accomplishment for this girl!), and so I followed his advice and decided to stop (until further notice I guess as I'm not seeing him due to $$$). Anyways, I realized tonight that one of the biggest motivating factors for me on this journey has always been when I've been able to prove to myself that I am capable of doing things I just thought were impossible- being able to see visible improvements in what I can physically do. I loved being able to go from wanting to die after jogging for 30 seconds to being able to jog for 2 minutes- it kept my fire burning, kept me encouraged by the progress. Now, my workouts consist of 2-3 spin classes per week and HIIT every other day so besides how much weight I'm able to use during HIIT, there's really not much opportunity for me to see improvement or do something new, which I believe is part of the reason I'm not feeling super motivated to workout. Solution: Well, I think it's obvious that I need to give myself opportunity to see improvements. How to do that? Eh, not really sure. Any ideas? Maybe I should consider starting to jog again? Hmmm...I'll need to think more about this one.

3) Unforseen Challenge: I really undersestimated how easy it is for me to put all of this (everything that goes along with my weight loss journey) on the back burner if I don't keep it constantly in front of me- I guess the saying "out of site, out of mind" really is true! I remember when I first began this journey (and this blog), I was astonished at how imperative it was that I always kept reading blogs or magazines or something so that I could be held accountable and be reminded of what it was that I needed to be doing. Well, since I honestly haven't been reading or writing in my own blog or doing any research on healthy recipes or anything related to weight loss, I have become disinterested with it (go figure!). Solution: I can't deny that weight loss is by no means the most important thing in my life- in fact, it's probably #4 at the highest, but that doesn't mean that I can let it fall to #20. I know the value in reading blogs & blogging and learning new things and it only makes sense to stick with what works- and this has worked for me. So, I'm gonna visit helpful blogs (hopefully that means yours!) once a week as well as post at least once a week- that's what is realistic for me right now and I still see it as helpful.

4) Unforseen Challenge: I don't remember the last time I weighed 240lbs. I mean, maybe...my freshman year of highschool (that's 10 years ago fyi!), but even then I don't really remember what life was like or what I felt like at that point. Basically what I'm saying is that I'm at the smallest I can ever really remember being at which presents 2 problems: #1) The only thing that ever even made me begin to lose weight at 352lbs was b/c doing basic everyday life things was becoming challenging, obviously not a problem I face as much anymore, and #2) I'm having a hard time envisioning what I would even look like at 180ish pounds (what I'm guessing my goal weight will be- remember I'm 5'10''!) So it's really been a challenge to keep pushing myself to desiring and working for lower and lower #'s when I guess I'm already impressed with where I am (twisted eh?). Solution: I need to start getting pictures in my mind of things that I want- and now they get to be a bit more lavish then fitting in an airplane seat, now it's one day shopping for jeans in the "normal size" section or being completely out of size 20 anything pants. I need to start dreaming again.

It really does intrigue me how the "challenges" of this journey have changed over time. At the beginning my biggest challenges were getting over my fears, self- control, and believing that I could actually have a certain life, now they are much more about perserverance and truly finishing what I've started.

My hope is that maybe someone who is at a similar place in their journey will be able to identify with one of these challenges and not feel so bad about the apathy but instead learn from it and adjust b/c the truth is- I really do care about finishing this strong, I really do know that I'm not at my best and deserve to get to where I want to go, and I do know that I'm strong enough to do it!

Hope my ramblings have benefited someone :) Any unforseen challenges that you've encountered that you care to share?

And because I feel like no post is complete without a pic, here's one of me and two of my dear friends at the drive in last weekend (loved Cars 2!)

Progress Pics: 5th Installment!

2011-07-17T21:43:00.000-04:00

As promised, I'm posting my 5th set of progress pics! It took me so long mainly because I'm finally living on my own and don't have a roomate around to ask to snap these pics! lol Oh the unforseable problems of living alone :)

Without further adieu, my progress pics! The 1st pics are from my first set of progress pics at 333lbs (fyi- I started my journey at 352lbs though), the 2nd pic is from 20lbs ago (264lbs) and the third is me currently at 244lbs!

Be expecting a post from me later on this week, right now it's past my bedtime but I did want to post these!

Looking forward to catching up with ya'll!

Poppin In!

2011-07-07T07:51:00.000-04:00

Hi there!

I know I've been a bad blogger, but ya'll know how busy the summer gets! Just wanted to let you know I'm still alive, record my latest weigh in and give a bit of cool news:

Current Weight: 244lbs (weekly loss: 4lb) (total loss: 108lbs)
244lbs means that I'm ready for my next progress pic!!! So I promise that I'll get that posted reeeeeaaaaaaal soon and actually enter a good post :)

Happy Thursday, hope all is well with ya'll and that you're fighting the flab this summer!

What are friends for?

2011-06-17T22:23:00.000-04:00

So, I mentioned in my last post that my best friend Erin's wedding is coming up this August and how excited I am about it, remember?

Well, last weekend I roadtripped it over a state in order to attend her bridal shower and it was the first time I had seen her in almost a year exactly as she lives on the other side of the country. Erin and I have been best friends for almost 5 years now and I can honestly say she knows me better than any other person on this planet. When she and I became friends 5 years ago I was well on my way to my heaviest weight ever, which she definitely knew me at as well.

During this weight loss journey, she has been the one person that I have never felt afraid to talk about things with. We shoot it straight with eachother and I knew that she wouldn't just tell me things to make me feel better or at the same time flatter me for no reason- she knows ME and it has been a true joy to share with her over the phone the changes that I've made more mentally than anything and for her to be able to acknowledge the change that has taken place without even seeing me has been pretty dang cool.

Anyways, besides the fact that I was super excited for her bridal shower, I was also SO pumped about her finally being able to see my weight loss progress (when she saw me last time I had lost about 40 pounds, now I was even 60 pounds lighter than that!). When I finally arrived at my destination and we were reunited I could tell how shocked and excited she was, even though she couldn't really show it since we were with her future in-laws and she knew talking about it right away would probaby embarass me, but later when we got some time alone she shared with me something that I truly never really anticipated being a part of this journey...

Besides her noticing the obvious physical differences, she said that one of the most moving parts of seeing me for the first time was that when she introduced me to her future in-laws, the thought didn't even enter her mind- "Oh, they are going to notice/judge that Tiffany is very overweight" but that they were "just going to be introduced to ME"- not me, the overweight friend, but just me.

Honestly that comment was pretty shocking to me because Erin just never made it known that it was something that she or anyone else really even thought about - Lord knows I never really thought/cared about being overweight for whatever reason! And it really just hit me that there really is so much more of an opportunity for people to just get to know ME now- not that no one did before, but I'm sure it was in the thoughts of people much more often than I will ever know.

One of the coolest things about our visit was comparing some pictures we took that weekend to the thousands of pictures we've taken over the course of our friendship (can you say photowhores?? lol). Here- take a look:

We've always enjoyed making crazy faces...

Except the face I make now only has 1 chin :)

Here's a pic of us at what was very close to my heaviest at my college graduation:

And then one taken the day of her bridal shower:

I don't know how this sounds or what it really means, but even though I wouldn't ever want someone to be my friend just because of the way I look, the fact that Erin's friendship to me has never changed, even when I weighed 352lbs and clearly didn't love myself to much, says so much to me.

I'm continuing to work to uncover the REAL ME that has been hidden underneath layers (both physical & immaterial) and see just what I'm really all about :)

Moving from HOPING to KNOWING.

2011-06-09T08:24:00.000-04:00

Guess what??? I'm alive!!!

I've been missing posting & reading your blogs as well- between trying to move to a new apt & a few other things, life has been full & a bit turbulent. One of the great things I've been up to happened this past weekend when I attended my best friends wedding shower! After not seeing her for a year, it was such a blessing and just what I needed. This is the dress I'll be wearing in her wedding this coming August- isn't it so super cute!?!?

I'm hoping to lose another 15lbs before her wedding the first week of August so needless to say I'm doing my best to tear the scale apart! In fact, here's this week's weigh in:

Last Week: 252lbs

This Week: 247lbs (-5lbs)

Total Loss: -105lbs

Pounds to next progress pic: 3lbs

And now, it's time to get real with ya'll:

Now that I'm continuing this journey past a 100lb loss, things have definitely changed. Since beginning this journey over a year ago, I was able to focus like a laser beam on my long term goal- to lose 100lbs- I knew I had to lose at least that and it was still a pretty lofty goal so that's what I was going for. Now that I've achieved that goal (which I am still just amazed by), I kind of find myself a little...directionless. I mean, it's obvious that I still have weight to lose- about 70 more pounds I'm guessing, but it's just kind of weird because I've never been as small as I am and truthfully have NO CLUE what I am even hoping to look like after 70 more pounds.

I talked this over with my beloved trainer JZ this past Sunday during our tri-weekly (is that even a word??lol) training session and he said something that I believe is absolutely true; he said, "Tiff- you know you can lose these 70lbs, you've already lost that + 30 lbs- these last 70lbs though will require more mental than physical effort." I guess, in short I find myself back to wondering...can I really get to a place where I am nowhere near being obese or overweight? That one day I can be completely... normal? I think somewhere deep down I always knew I could lose 100lbs, but I guess I need to take time to really focus and come to KNOW that I can do and be ANYTHING with God's strength coupled with my obedience & effort.

Everything that I've always dreamed about and never really knew if it was possible is within my reach and is even coming into reality even now and I know that I'm worth it, that I deserve it, and that I can do it.

Now What??

2011-05-26T07:49:00.000-04:00

So- I have finally reached my first major goal on this journey- I've lost 100+ pounds. Honestly, I really hadn't ever spent much time thinking about or setting goals for anything beyond losing 100lbs- I have been focused like a missle on this goal and now I've had a week to start thinking about the future- answering the question: "Now What?"

I still don't know what my goal weight is exactly and I don't intend on setting it until I get closer- for me I could care less about the # on the scale, it's about how healthy I am and the way I look- I'm guessing my goal weight will be somewhere between 165-185. I know that # might horrify some as a goal weight, but I'm 5'10'', don't have a small frame as it is, and am pretty muscular. SO- right now my long term goal is to get out of the 200's (which is something still pretty unfathomeable for me); meaning I am gonna be KILLING it on my way to losing the 52lbs needed to hit 199lbs.

Well, now this is where the fun begins. Why? Because reaching this new goal will be nothing like trying to reach my first. Sure, the principles are the same, the sacrifice is the same, much of my routine will be the same but now I get to do it all being able to exercise, knowing how to eat healthily, and most importantly, KNOWING that I can do it. Plus, it's just the truth that now when I lose weight, it is much more noticeable than it was when I was much heavier and it's encouraging to notice the differences. I am more focused now than ever on becoming the healthiest, most fit, hottest (channeling my inner Hannah & Olivia!) me I can be.

I'm looking forward to setting some great June goals and to soon make it into the 240's! That's about it for today folks, I would like to say a huge THANK YOU to all of you who offered your congratulations on my last post- it really is great to know that many of you have been reading my blog since I weighed over 300lbs and that some of you are just coming to discover my blog now and it's serving as proof that YOU can do it to! It's a blessing to be able to inspire anyone.

Alright folks, I'm signing off with a pic of my lunch meal for this week (yes I eat the same thing for lunch every day Mon-Fri): Italian Grilled Chicken Breast & Mixed Veggies (Red onion, zucchini, squash, and mushrooms):

Peace & Love Ya'll!

101 Pounds Ago...

2011-05-19T07:58:00.000-04:00

101 Pounds Ago...

Tying my shoes was difficult.
The # of restaurant chairs I couldn't fit in was increasing.
I couldn't fly in an airplane without a seat belt extender and having the arm rest up.
In search of control, I was being completely controlled by food.
I wore size 28 jeans.
I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded (and I was 23 years old!)
I honestly doubted I would ever weigh under 300 pounds.
I was a slave to circumstances, peer pressure, and emotional eating.
I dreaded going to amusement parks because I couldn't fit on most of the roller coasters.
I couldn't drive past a Starbucks without ordering a 500 calorie drink.
I could workout on the elliptical for longer than 10 minutes without feeling like my heart would beat out of my chest.
I had never cooked a single vegetable in my life.
I was intensely afraid of working out at the gym.
I was in denial of how I became obese & even that my weight was a problem.
My weight was prohibiting me from fulfilling God's calling on my life.

Today, after losing 101 Pounds...

I can tie my shoes with no issue.
I can RUN up stairs without getting winded.
I know how I became overweight and why/how I will NEVER go back.
I have shown myself that I am not destined for diabetes and obesity, but greatness.
I have no fear of working out at the gym and have had multiple people there mention my weight loss.
I can fly on an airplan without using a seat belt extender.
I am in control of food & it no longer has any hold on my life!
I can workout on the elliptical for a limitless amount of time & have become an avid spinner.
I now wear a size 20 jeans.
I can go to a restaurant and fit in any chair.
I have NO doubt that I will be in ONEderland one day soon.
Starbucks no longer is an addiction of mine & it holds very little appeal.
I am FREE from circumstancial or peer pressure in regards to food.
I am one of the strongest, most resilient people I know.
I regularly eat vegetables & have learned to cook many healthy meals.
I KNOW that I am worth it!

This past week I lost another 2 pounds which obviously brought me straight to a 101 pound loss. I have been waiting for a LONG time to reach this goal. As I look back on my journals for the past 6 years or so, every friggin year I would set a goal to lose 100lbs and guess what? I FINALLY DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And guess what? I am SO proud of myself.

Living Healthily in an Unhealthy Office!

2011-05-13T13:42:00.000-04:00

Sacrifice.

For real, who likes to do that? Who even likes that word?

However, for most of the people in the world trying to lose weight- it is the one thing they are not willing to do on a consistant basis and causes them to live in a viscious cycle of "I'm gonna do better, I suck, I lost half a pound, I gained two pounds back" etc. Now that I'm only 1 pound away from losing 100lbs, I've found myself pondering how it is that I got here, what was it I did that actually caused me to lose 99lbs. I'm convinced that there is not just one way to lose weight- almost all the diets in the world will work if they are based off of the only principle that works: eat healthier, know what you're eating, move your body. So when people ask me how I've done it I'm always a little hesitant to say because I in no way believe that I've discovered the holy grail of diets or anything, my plan has changed as I've lost weight- but the ONE thing that has stayed consistent throughout the last year and a half that I've been on this journey is this: I've had to sacrifice.

Has it gotten easier? Um...maybe.

Sometimes I feel like work in an office of the most unhealthy eaters in Pittsburgh- no joke. Almost bi-weekly everyone our office will pitch in and have a "food day" where for the entire day everyone eats all day long and the entire office is filled with the smell of greasy-ness. Yesterday was no exception. One of my co-workers fried up about 50 pieces of fried chicken (fyi- there are only like 12 people on my floor) and everyone in our entire 6 story building could smell it and were like ravenous dogs trying to get a piece. All day long my co-workers looked at me like I was crazy for not even trying it & when I told them why they would respond with things like, "Tiffany, you've lost so much weight- one piece of chicken isn't going to hurt!" And you know what, they're probably right. But at the end of the day, they won't be the one standing on the scale feeling bad about myself when I've just maintained and on the flip side, they weren't on the scale with me yesterday morning when I lost another 3lbs. I stood alone in saying no to the chicken and I'm standing alone seeing my waistline SHRINK- not expand.

There are few feelings like the one you get when you realize you aren't controlled by food or the peer pressure surrounding food anymore. It's both liberating and empowering. Did part of me feel bad for not eating the chicken because it made me look a tad snotty and like a party pooper? Yea- a little. Was it worth me feeling bad about myself and feeding into a mindset of defeat? Nope- not even a bit. And listen to this, when I was eating my wheat crackers & hummus for a snack and everyone else was going for their second plate of pasta and fried chicken, a co-worker said, "Tiff, you are hardcore! You are my inspiration to get all of this (points to her stomach) under control." And I can promise you that THAT was more satisfying than any piece of fried meat could ever be.

Bottom line: If you want to lose weight and become the best you possible- get used to sacrificing. A lot. It will suck sometimes, but it will be worth it ALL the time.

Other Updates:

Yesterday was weigh in day... Last Thursday: 256lbs This Thursday: 253lbs (-3lbs) Total Loss: 99lbs!!!!
I just bought a pair of size 20 jeans. THAT is crazy. I started out in size 28's.
I'm thinking about a cool way to celebrate my impending 100lb loss that will hopefully happen next Thursday... hmm...maybe a pedicure!

That's all friends! Do any of you have tips on how to avoid office snacking/unhealthy eating?

FIGHT MODE.

2011-05-05T10:36:00.000-04:00

One of the things that has helped me be the most successful in this journey is my mental strength. In fact, I had never realized just how mentally strong I was until I began this journey. However, I feel like it’s important to note that mental strength isn’t something that someone is born with- it’s something that is developed through deliberate choices a person makes that either further reinforce their mental strength into a state of victory or demolishes it, causing them to live in a mental state of defeat. I believe that the battle with weight loss is fought not on the scale, treadmill, kitchen, or gym- but in the mind.

While I believe mental strength is something that comes from a series of deliberate choices, there has to be some help in being able to make those choices in the first place, for me- they are my mantras. Mantras are phrases or words that I repeat in times when I need some extra strength, focus, and motivation to make a right decision. An example of one of my most common ones is: “When I say NO to this food (or choice), I am saying YES to myself and my goals- and if I say YES to this food (or choice), I am saying NO to myself and my dreams.” For me, when I make a decision to eat something I shouldn’t, 99% of the time it is because I have allowed myself to believe that it really isn’t that big of a deal to have that cookie, chips, or bread- but these mantras cause me to remember that while the one cookie may not cause me to gain 5lbs, it is leading me down a path of mental defeat. And it is when decisions like that pile up that you find yourself a few weeks down the road 10lbs heavier (or stuck at the same weight) and feeling like a complete failure. On the flip side, when you decide that you aren’t going to say NO to yourself, your goals, and your dreams anymore because of the temporary satisfaction a chip or cookie brings, you feel proud, strong, and invincible. Nothing is worth that- and you are building that mindset of victory with every decision.

The other day I looked back at some of the notes I had made for myself at the very beginning of this journey (96lbs ago) and I found it SO interesting how much my mantras have changed between then and now- which I believe shows growth just as much as the scale has.

My Mantras 96lbs Ago:

- I REFUSE to let FEAR cripple me and kept me fat ANY LONGER!
- I am just at the STARTING POINT.
- If I am not embarrassed for people to see me chowing down at a restaurant I shouldn’t be embarrassed for them to see me changing my health and life at the gym!
- People aren’t there waiting to judge overweight people for coming to the gym, they are there for their own workout!
- I am the ONLY ONE who is going to push me to do this!
- I will PUSH MYSELF TO THE LIMITS if I want to accomplish things I never thought possible- I will prove myself and everyone else wrong!
- If I don’t want to have to do this for the rest of my life, I’ve got to give it MY ALL!
- When I only can do a few minutes on a machine…it’s more than I did yesterday!

Reading those reminded me of just how much fear I dealt with at the beginning of this journey- I was so afraid to be judged by people at the gym, so afraid to face the facts of just how out of shape I really was, afraid that becoming this fit, thin person I desired to be wasn’t really possible. What’s amazing is that for the most part, those thoughts never even enter my mind anymore- that’s what victory will do for you.

My Mantras these days are a bit different:

- You are the only one that is going to push you to your limits- you can’t wait for someone else to, because they never will- it’s YOU. Also, no one is going to say no to this food for you.
- This food (insert temptation) doesn’t love you- YOU’VE got to love you.
- You are a living success story- you aren’t still trying to become successful or prove to yourself you can do it, you have already become successful and now you are just living out that successful life.
- If you were on the Biggest Loser, would you be doing this/eating this?
- There is nothing you can’t do- no one can put limits on your but yourself and if you CHOOSE not to, the sky is the limit.
- You are no longer controlled by food or the desire of it. Food is fuel and that is it. YOU are truly in control now, not food.
- The fat on your body is just as serious as if there were cancer in your body- it will kill you, so take it that seriously.
- You are worth more than the temporary satisfaction that comes from something that will later make you question yourself.

I’m not quite sure I can see as clearly the common thread in these new mantras like I was able to with the old ones but I think now, I my mental struggle is more with realizing my own strength & resolve and not allowing the fear or even the question of going back to the way I was enter my mind.

The truth, I’ve been struggling mentally. I think part of it is partially induced by hormones (aka- it’s that time of the month) but I’m craving things I never usually care for and am having a harder time saying no to things when I used to not even flinch. I’m not doing horribly by any means- shoot- I lost 4lbs last week- BUT I’m definitely in fight mode right now. And I have to let myself know that THAT’S OKAY. It’s OKAY that I’m encountering temptations, it’s okay that I’m having some unhealthy cravings, IT IS OKAY. The only thing that’s not okay is eating out of control or giving into the temptation. I need to remember that all this temptation and craving means is that I am being given another opportunity to reinforce the commitment to myself that I’ve made & the person that I’ve become.

I choose to live FREE. Free from being driven by any craving or temptation, Free from the control of food, Free from the control of negative thoughts. I am living in the FREEDOM that comes from knowing I am worth saying NO to temptations and cravings & I am WORTHY of living the healthy, fulfilled, and fit lifestyle I am enjoying at this very moment.

**Proof that I’m victorious**:

PW Weigh In: 260lbs
CW Weight In: 256lbs
Progress: -4lbs (Meaning: I am only 4 pounds away from losing 100lbs!) It's SO close I can TASTE it!

I hope all this has helped someone realize their strength lies not in fate, personality, or genetics but in the power that comes from their choices.

Have a great weekend everyone & would LOVE to hear some of the mantras you use on your raod to VICTORY!

Easter Update & More!

2011-04-28T08:07:00.000-04:00

Mornin'!

Weekend Update:
What a week it has been! As I mentioned in last week's post, last weekend we had our 2nd Annual Community Easter Egg Hunt and seriously, God did a miracle in that it was forecasted to thunderstorm all day and had been raining all week long and that day the hunt went off with sunny skies and a dry field. Simply Amazing. Anyways, I decided to post a pic of me from last year's hunt (see left) and one from this year (see right)- there are definitely better pics that are full body from last year but I just don't have access to them right now so that one will do. Happily, I see a difference :)

It was a great time and it was really cool to look back and see where I was a year ago. One fun change, last year I was wearing a TIGHT size XL t-shirt and this year,a comfortable size L! I've never been a size L in t-shirts. I also recently bought a size MEDIUM shirt from H&M :)

This weekend I also attended a super fun 30th Birthday prom that my good friend put on for his wife- it was a blast! AND- who says you never can reuse a bridesmaid dress??? Cuz I most definitely did! :)

Looking Forward:

I went into the past week (and today's weigh in), knowing that it was going to not be the most glamorous week for weight loss- because of the hunt I would hardly have any time to exercise and I also knew temptations would be abounding. Overall, I did pretty dang well in the nutrition department but the lack of exercise kind of put me in a funk.

Many parts of this journey (healthy eating, food prep, etc.) have almost become second-nature to me; which I am definitely THANKFUL for but I've also noticed that "new feeling" of making drastic life changes and the confidence that gives has worn off. It has been a long time since I've really focused on a goal or a picture of what I'm working for and I can feel that I need that back. I'm gonna take this weekend and really think about what it is that I want and what I'm working for. I guess I'm just trying to say I feel like I've lost a bit of my "vision" & thank goodness my healthy habits have kept me going through this little spurt.

Weigh In:

Last Week's Weigh In: 260lbs

This Week's Weight In: 260lbs

Result: 0 +/-

I guess I really can't be too upset due to the major lack of exercise caused by the hunt. This week though, I have every intention (starting today) of being HARDCORE & giving my VERY best and hope to come back to you next Thursday reporting I'm officially in the 250's and within a few pounds reach of joingin the 100lb lost club!

Eats:

Being that I'm trying to use up most of the food I currently have before buying more, (read: I'm a bit poor right now!) I've been coming up with some new concauctions! Omelets have been a dinner staple lately and this one was made with: liquid egg whites, mushrooms, low fat part skimm mozzarella, and red onion w/ a size of turkey bacod. DELISH! However, it has been turning into more of a scramble than an omelet- dang pans keep burning my omelets! lol

Well, that's all folks! This weekend I am looking forward to trying some new recipes that will be a little lower in carbs and adding some more fruits and veggies in my diet.

Looking forward to giving my BEST- who's with me???

Newness: Pants, Phone, Exercises, Eats & More!

2011-04-21T08:25:00.000-04:00

Good Mornin'!

Well, it appears as though I have settled into Thursdays not only being the day that I weigh in but also the day for my weekly blog post- yay for consistency! It's been a BUSY 7 days and I'm excited to share some of the coolness with you (in organized bullet points of course!):

First up, today's weigh in: 260lbs (-1lb from last week). I was hoping to lose 2lbs, but I'll take 1lb- I know I did everything right this past week so it's only a matter of time before I lose every single pound that I want to. I'm gonna keep on keepin' on baby! I'm officially 8lbs away from losing 100lbs so hopefully no more than another month to go!
I got an iphone 4! For the last 8 years I swear I've either had an LG Chocolate or Envy and it was high time I finally join the smart phone revolution. When I was at the store getting ready to make the purchase I was a bit apprehensive because I seriously didn't know if I would be able to figure out how to work it! Luckily for me, it is extremely steamlined and user friendly and I REALLY like it. Bonus? Better blog pics because of the sweet camera!
I also wanted to share a meal that I probably eat for dinner at least 3 or 4 times a week: Chicken gyoza potstickers that I get from Trader Joe's (7 for 210 calories) & asparagus. I tried asparagus for the first time in my whole life about 3 months ago and although I've never been a huge veggie fan I LURVE asparagus. Add just a little low sodium soy sauce and you've got a dinner ranging about a 250 calories!

I briefly mentioned in my last post that I finally got the courage up to try spinning. I have always been pretty intimidated by spin classes because I've heard how difficult they are. Well, I've gone 3 times now and although it felt like I had gotten kicked in the crotch after my first class, after I bought a gel seat at Target, everything was smooth sailing! I can't even describe how much I enjoy spinning. Our spin room is very small (there are maybe 8 bikes) and it's just a time to turn out the lights, blast good music, and get a kick bum workout that is pretty mindless for you (thx to the instructor) but is legitimately fun & burns an average of 800 calories per class! I seriously think I had a smile on my face the entire class yesterday lol- partly because out of everyone in the class yesterday I was probably the one who kept up with the instructor the most and that I no longer am bound by fear or intimidation but can actually DO something I never thought I'd be fit enough to do! Man, there's only a few things that can beat that feeling. This is a pic of me after last Saturdays 7AM (yes, I am nuts) spin class!

( P.S. Don't ask me why I can't get the pictures to rotate when I actually upload them- I'll figure it out later! :)
Due to the fact that I've been having co-workers TELL me it's time to get new pants (hahaha) I figured it was probably time to get new pants! lol Well, I probably spent about 3 hours in Lane Bryant on Saturday trying to find a pair of dress pants that fit- seriously- 3 hours! Needless to say, at the beginning of the shopping trip I had picked up a bunch of pants in a size 22, which is what I thought was my size. Well, by the end I was actually more between a slack size 18/20!!!!! I seriously couldn't even believe it. I truthfully think it has been 7+ years since I've been in an 18/20! However, in jeans (which I think is a more realistic size gage) I'm still a solid 22 (which coming from a size 28 still makes me happy!) Check me out cheezin!

My lunch creation for the week is based off of what may just be my favorite meal of all time (like I seriously eat it probably 5-6 times a month), which is a Chicken Burrito Bowl from Chipotle. I could eat it probably every day- no joke. Anyways, I decided to get a little creative and try to recreate my very own version of this meal at home, so I combined: brown rice, blended black beans, corn, chicken, guacamole, and HOMEMADE salsa! Yep, I actually made salsa! It's obviously not hard, but I'm a big salsa fan & critic and I can't even believe how delicious it is- I've probably poured it on just about everything this week haha. Here's a pic of my lunch all put together:

So there you have it folks, my week!

This weekend we have our HUGE Easter Egg Hunt that I've been coordinating and planning for for months. Last year was our very first one and we had over 600 people from the community come out and this year we are expecting even more! All of the busyness will mean that I won't be working out again until Tuesday but I'm going to watch my nutrition and just do what I can! I can't wait to share pics with you all from this weekend- especially to compare them with pics of me at last year's hunt.

I hope everyone has a blessed Easter & remembers to take time out for who this Holiday is really all about :)

How I'm Losing Weight: Now Edition!

2011-04-14T09:03:00.000-04:00

Morning world!

Ya know, maybe it's just me (and it's probably not), but one thing that I wished more bloggers (particularly those uber 100+lb loss bloggers) would post more about what exactly they are doing/did to lose the weight. I've noticed that the typical pattern is that bloggers talk about their plans at the beginning and then just fail to mention it again; however, there are new readers joining every day AND if you are anything like me, your weight loss "plan" changes as you go along your journey (in fact, it almost has to!)

Recently I made some pretty significant changes to my weight loss routine, while others I just solidified and today, I'd like to share what I'm doing to lose weight. I BY NO MEANS am a weight loss expert or can say that what I'm doing is the most effective way for everyone (or even for me!) but it's what I've discovered so far at this point in my journey and I'm excited to share it with you all today! BUT FIRST... it's weekly weigh in time!

Previous Weigh In: 264lbs

Today's Weigh In: 261lbs (-3lbs)

Total Loss: 91 pounds!!!

For the last two months I have been consistantly losing weight, 8lbs in just the last 2 weeks actually, and I believe that the new changes I've made to my plan have not only helped me break past the plateu I was on, but have also been significant in the changes that I've been seeing in my body. So let's cut to the chase- here's what I am *currently* (as in the past 2 months) been doing to lose weight:

Nutrition:

I adopt the general principles of weight watchers, however I count calories rather than points (I just find it easier and I'm more thorough with it). By "general principles" I mean that no food is completely off-limits. For example, I almost never eat fried chicken (although I love it) because it is not healthy for me, but it's not necessarily off-limits. As soon as I decide that I can no longer have something, I will automatically start to crave it and my rebellious side will lead me into eating it even if I don't even really want it. With WW, no food is off limits, it's about choices & balance- so if you eat something higher in fat/calories for breakfast, have a lighter lunch. This journey is one that I will be on for the rest of my life and I cannot realistically sustain a lifestyle that I don't like- and telling myself that I can never again have a cookie, a slice of pizza, or even fried chicken isn't realistic. HOWEVER (see next bullet point!)
I eat between 1200-1500 calories a day- there is no way around this. I write down everything I eat in a food journal, which is where I keep my calorie count. I do not necessarily restrict or count any other nutritional value (fat, sodium, etc.) although I'm sure as I continue to get smaller and it becomes harder for me to lose weight, that I'll need to pay more attention to those things. HOWEVER (again, see next bullet point! ;)
A month or so ago I had to have a heart to heart w/myself- my weight loss wasn't happening very quickly and while I was tempted to blame it on a plateu, when I looked back over my food journal, I realized I really wasn't giving my BEST in regards to what I was eating. Now, this might tick some people off (and please keep in mind my first bullet point), but the truth is- I (nor anyone else) will not consistantly lose weight by eating pizza, drinking fatty coffee drinks, indulging in fried food appetizers, or having 3 cookies for dessert. It's just a cold hard fact. Sometimes just because I no longer sit down for McDonald's or Taco Bell lunches I can trick myself into thinking that these little "extras" that I indulge in don't count- WRONG.
I am beginning to pay more attention to carbs but am not entirely sure where this will go (I know it won't go to an Atkins lifestyle!) but I'll keep you posted :)
In short: No food is completely off limits, count my calories, stay between 1200-1500, write it down, re-evaluate often. If you notice, these guidelines are really checks and balances of eachother (ahhh balance!)

Fitness: This has been the most signifcant area of change that has take place in the last 2 months. Previously, I my fitness routine looked like this: I went to the gym 3-4 times a week and did the elliptical for 45 minutes each time, I would also try to do a circuit on the machines once a week and toward the end, I started going to Zumba. And, if it it were not for my great friend turned trainer JZ, I would probably still be doing the same thing, dreading every second of it, and not progressing in weight loss or in my phyiscal strength and ability. Now my fitness routine looks something like this:

I now workout 5 times a week. The truth: anything less shows that this is not a top priority of mine. Sure, there are weeks that it may be less, but it will be less because of a weekend trip, funeral, or I'm literally on my death bed- NOT because I'm super tired, a friend asked to go to dinner, or I need to go to the store. Savy?
I now focus ALL of my workouts around HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training). This is where I may really rustle some feathers (and believe me, JZ ruffled mine big time when he was trying to get me to understand this), but our bodies adapt SO quickly to what we do that me doing 45 minutes of straight cardio repeatedly was not doing me very much good concerning weight loss (while it is always good for my heart!). From doing research, I now understand that the fastest and most effective way to lose fat is through high intensity interval training. This has been a DRASTIC change in my mindset and workouts. I'll have to get into all that this means in another post, but essentially, I now do HARD short periods of strenght training AND cardio, followed by short periods of rest instead of long periods of cardio at a maintainable pace. Truth is: while you may burn more calories in a 45 minute cardio session than in a 20 minute HIIT session, you will continue to burn calories for up to 72 hours after you end your HIIT session because of the muscles you have torn down and consequently end up burning more calories in the end. I know there may be some skeptics, but check out this article.
Variety is key for me- I refuse to hate exercising which is why I need to not feel like I'm doing the same thing every day so this is what a week of exercise looks like for me: Monday: Rest, Tuesday: 30 minutes of jogging intervals (Jog 1 minute, Rest 2 minutes) which as the weeks go on change (for example: next week I will begin Jogging 1:30 seconds, resting 2 minutes) followed by 15 minutes of HIIT strength training, Wednesday: 1hr Spin Class followed by 15 minutes HIIT strength training, Thursday: 45 minute cardio class followed by 15 minutes HIIT strength training, Friday: 1hr spin or 30 minutes elliptical followed by 15 minutes HIIT, Saturday: Rest, Sunday: 30 minutes HIIT strenght training.
Update: Yesterday I went to my first spin class!!! Thoughts: It was definitely a good workout, challenging, doable, and my crotch is killing me today (aka- I'll be purcahsing a gel seat asap!)
In short: I exercise 5 days a week, place equal value on cardio & strenth training, I do everything in intervals, make sure I don't get bored or complacent by doing switching things us, and NEVER think that I'll be keeping this fitness routine forever because it has to change and get harder as I become more and more fit!

Alright folks, so that's what I'm doing. I will say that everything I've shared is important but I wouldn't be able to do ANY of it if I wasn't mentally strong and have the right set of beliefs about myself, my abilities, what I want out of life.

SOOOooOOO let me encourage you bloggers to begin sharing what YOU are doing to lose weight on your blogs so that other bloggers (like myself) can learn from you!

Peace out girl (and boy) scouts!

New Progress Pics!

2011-04-07T07:53:00.000-04:00

Mornin' Ya'll!

Well, it's Thursday which means it's time for a weigh in:

Last Week's Weight: 269lbs

This Week's Weight: 264lbs (-5lbs)

Total Loss: 88lbs!

Clearly, I am excited to be no longer messing with the same 3-5 pounds anymore and I'm hoping that the plateu I was stuck on has finally broke. More good news about this weigh in- I've officially lost another 20lbs which means it's time for another set of progress pictures!

284lbs 264lbs

Well, there you have it- not sure how much progress I see from the last 20lb picture, but the change from the start is pretty undeniable (I'm only showing set 1, 3, and 4 for space reasons). That I'm only 2lbs away from losing 90lbs is gonna push me hard this week and I can't wait.

Tonight I'm going to be trying a new group fitness class- either Spin or Rock Bottom... I'm nervous but excited!

That's all folks!

Monthly Evaluations, New Goals, & Bob Harper in my Living Room!

2011-04-01T12:18:00.000-04:00

Hey yo's!!!

Can you believe it, 2 posts from me in one week!?!? I know- apparently miracles do still happen!

Well, it's the 1st day of April which means it's time for me to evaluate how I did on my March goals as well as set my new ones for April. Side note: Setting small goals has helped me enormously on this loooonnnng journey- it allows for me to see my progress and motivates me to keep going while I'm still waiting to reach my overall goal.

My March Goals Were:

- #1: Do New Fitness Routine As Planned:

* Interval Strength Training: 3x's Per Week
* Strictly Cardio Training: 2x's Per Week
* 2 Days of Rest
Result: This goal kind of changed mid-month. I've been meaning to post about the major changes that have been taking place with my fitness but just haven't had the time. While I'll save all the updates for another post, I will say that I've been working out at least 4-5x's every week which is much improved from the 3x's I was formerly doing it.
#2: Try a Spin Class!
Result: This didn't happen- not because of fear or anything but simply just because March was a very hectic month for me and the night that I would typically be doing spin, I've been going to Zumba.

#3: Weigh No More Than 260lbs on March 31st! (Total loss of 92lbs).
Result: Well, this clearly did not happen as I currently weigh 269lbs. What am I going to do about it? Stay tuned to my next post where I will be going over what changes I'm making to both my nutrition and fitness (go ahead, call me a tease!)

Overall, not super stoked about March. I made a lot of mental breakthroughs which I know will matter more in the long run than any breakthroughs on the scale. Needless to say, I have much higher hopes for the month of April...

My April Goals Are:

#1: Be in the 250's by 4/30/11 (so lose at least 10 pounds): I can't believe how close I am getting to losing 100lbs...probably because I feel like I've been playing with the same 2-4 lbs for forever now. Oh well, play as I may, I will get there!
#2: Try either a spin class or rock bottom class: I need variety and to be challenged- hence, trying new classes!
#3: Run for 3:00 minutes straight: Wowzer will this be a big deal for me! Since I began this journey running even for 30 seconds has been a challenge for me. So far the longest I have ever run solidly is 1:30 so definitely going to be pushing myself past the limits I have in my mind!
So there we have it! April, watch out!

On a final note, I recently picked up this baby last weekend:

Except I picked up the 25lb kellebell...it's probably a bit too heavy for me right now but instead of buying a 15lb'er now and then needing to buy a 25lb one in just a month or so. As you can see in the pic, the package includes: a kettlebell & a 30 minute workout DVD w/ the master Bob Harper himself! (FYI: I majorly heart Bob!). Anyways, so before trying out the DVD I decided to read some online reviews and was kind of disappointed to read on That'sFit.com that apparently the workout was far to simple and only for beginners. Well, I decided that I could go for a light strength training workout yesterday after doing the elliptical for 45 mins and um...screw you That'sfit.com because there is NO WAY it is only for beginners! Sure, it's understandable that I could barely get through the workout (read: didn't get through it!) but even the girl on the dvd who looked like a muscular beast was struggling.

Needless to say, if you are looking for a GREAT combo strength training/cardio workout, you should DEF pickup a kettlebell and Bob's DVD.

So, I ask: Has anyone else ever worked out w/ this DVD?

Have a GREAT weekend everyone- I don't know about you- but I'm planning on being tough as nails with my choices this weekend- let's do this!

Going to the Chapel...

2011-03-30T08:18:00.000-04:00

Back in September some of you may remember when I almost didn't attend the dress fitting for a wedding I had be invited to be a bridesmaid in because I was SO nervous & insecure about being seen with my arms & legs exposed (which I still never show) in the teeny-weeny little bridesmaid dress the bride had picked out for us. I came to you all on this blog asking for your advice about whether I should go or not, you kicked me in the bum and told me to get over myself and go, I went, and was glad I did.

Well, the wedding was this past weekend and since the time I tried on the dress at the bridal shop I've lost 25lbs which led to quite the crisis when I (stupidly!) waited to try on my dress until the night before the wedding and discovered that the even though I bought the dress SUPER tight because I was planning to lose weight before the wedding, it was still at least a full size too big! All I can say is, thank you safety pins! Wanna see some before and & after pics in the dress?

Before (September 2010)

After (March 2011)

I don't think I can even explain what this wedding did for me. It was probably one of the most impactful events in my journey of weight loss thus far.

This weekend I:

FINALLY, finally, FINALLY began to see that my body really has changed in these last 85lbs. Because I've pretty much always been naive about what my body really looks like (even when I weighed 352lbs), I likewise don't always see the positive changes that are happening and still picture myself sometimes as though I haven't changed at all. Seeing pictures from this weekend has finally begun to change that & it is a very crazy amazing thing.
Felt free enough to just be me in the body that I have right now. I was pushed wayyyy outside my comfort zone even now in showing my legs and upper arms but at some point I just decided to refuse to allow the specialness of the weekend to be overshadowed by insecurities caused by things that aren't going to change in a weekend (my arms/legs) and just enjoy the moment. I can't even express how liberating it was to forget that I weighed about 100lbs more than every other bridesmaid and just have fun.
Have had at least 10 people send me messages on facebook saying how great I look or asking what I'm doing to lose weight since posting pics from the wedding. This truly has flabergasted me as it literally hasn't been until this wedding that A LOT of people have noticed the change, even though I've been on this journey for over a year- it was seriously as if they thought it happened overnight or something (I wish!! haha). This encouragement really couldn't come at a better time as I haven't been necessarily seeing the weight loss #'s that I would like.

I'm finally beginning to appreciate the work that I've put in so far to my body and ready to see how much further I'll come when I'm in my best friends wedding this coming August; this wedding will undoubtedly be the most important wedding to me (other than my own obviously) and I really just want to be able to completely not focus at all on my body that day but on my bff. We have already picked the dress out and it's going to be the same story as the dress I just wore- short and sleeveless- and I plan to be more than ready. My goal is to be at least 40 pounds lighter than I am now (so in the 220's) at her wedding.

I would just like to thank those of you who encouraged me to go to the dress fitting- I don't think I would have gone without your encouragement.

**P.S- I haven't gotten a chance to visit the blogs of you amazing readers who introduced yourself a few posts ago but I am greatly looking forward to getting to know you better and checking out your journeys by the end of the week!**

To the Disappointed, Tempted, & facing Resistance:

2011-03-24T08:34:00.000-04:00

To my friends who have been scorned by the scale after a week of honest "trying":

(Preface: This isn't for those who have been binging on pizza all week long & haven't spent more than an hour working out all week. This is for those who have put in the work & the scale is honestly not reflecting the work you've put in).

If you find yourself this week in the same position I found myself in this morning, stepping on the scale and seeing a +1 when you were hoping for -2 and you just want to run into your room, slam yourself into your bed, pull up the covers & cry for about 30 minutes, then you need to have the same epiphany I had just an hour or so ago...

Anytime we run into 3 things on this journey we have the opportunity to either use it as an excuse to fall back into the destructive habits that are making us unhappy & unhealthy OR to use it as needed motivation for doing even better & committing more to ourselves & this process- these 3 things are: disappointment, temptation, and resistance. And the question is not IF we will encounter these things as we change our lives, because we WILL- & if we haven't decided ahead of time how we will handle them, then the emotions that they cause will almost always lead us into choosing the first option (read: ordering a #1 from Burger King).

Disappointment WILL come when: we don't see what we think we should on the scale (which realistically happens), & when it is taking WAY longer to make it to our goal weight than we had originally planned.
Temptation DOES come when: Well shoot...when does it not!? haha No, but for real- when our co-worker brings in a pound cake for everyone or buys the whole office pizza and the salad you brought suddenly looks like rabbit food, when you go out for dinner for your friends birthday and the complimentary chocolate cake comes to the table & you just want to indulge since it's a "special occasion," and temptation will most definitely rear its ugly head after you've had a sucky weigh in that morning & lunch comes around and you just want to throw it all out the window since it seems like your not progressing anyways. Yes- temptation comes every. single. day.
Resistance WILL come when: Your schedule somehow has completely filled up with activities & events that leave you with no time to work out, you (or a family member) gets sick and you aren't able to make it to the gym, you suffer an injury that means you have to modify your work outs, or perhaps you even have a friend/family member in your life that is seeminly trying to sabotage your new way of life.

THESE THINGS HAPPEN (sometimes daily) and we cannot ALLOW them to rule our lives. Key word: ALLOW. Surely, we do not have a choice whether temptation, disappointment, or resistance will come b/c that is out of our control; however, we do have a choice how we will ALLOW them to effect the rest of our day/week moving forward.

I already told you how I felt this morning (and the feeling still lingers a bit) when I gained a pound: like I suck, that I'll never be able to weigh less than this, and that all of the great decisions I made this past week were not worth it and didn't mean anything. Um. LIES!

I had to recognize this situation as another golden opportunity to commit even more to myself & this process as well as use this frusteration as motivation to do even better in this upcoming week.

We have to accept that the disappointments, temptations, & resistance we face on this journey are NOT indicators that we aren't doing well or that something is wrong with us but just an indicator that we are making a life change & that will never come easily regardless of what you're trying to do (quit smoking, raise children, etc.)

Friends, no matter which of the 3 you have been facing this week- know that it isn't a sign of your impending doom. Accept that you can be and are just as strong as you want to be and use it as an opportunity to become that much stronger- not ALLOWING ANYTHING to hold you back or stand in your way!

Let's. Do. This.

Introduce YO-SELF!

2011-03-17T22:26:00.000-04:00

Hi friends!

This is going to be a quick one today. A realllll quick one. First off- today was weigh in day!

Previous Weeks Weight: 270lbs

This Weeks Weight: 267lbs

Result: -3lbs!!!

Total Loss: 85lbs!!!

Meaning:

* Only 5 more pounds until a new progress pic!

* Only 15 more pounds until I hit my first major milestone of losing 100lbs!!!!!!!!

Sweetness.

Anyways, my REAL reason for this quick post is because I have a REQUEST: If you are someone who follows my blog (regardless of how long it's been), please leave a comment on this post introducing yourself to me so that I can begin to follow your journey as well!

There came a point a few months back that the pressure to read and comment on everyone's blogs became too much so I pretty much just stopped following anyone "new" and only continued following those I had been since the very beginning of my journey. Sadly, many of those bloggers have either now fallen off the face of the Earth, made a decision to stop blogging, or for reasons that I'm sure will sound harsh & offend some- I just can't take the whining anymore. Anyways, I would really like to offer mutual support & encouragement to those who have stumbled upon my blog so even just a quick "Hi!" comment will do!

Hope everyone has had a kick bum week and is ready to take on the weekend with fists up ready to fight anything that will try and stand in your way of becoming exactly the person you want to be!

Peace out girl scouts!

I leave ya'll w/ a pic of me and one of my besties from this past weekend- as a staff we went to a bed & breakfast in Ohio for the weekend and we couldn't resist snapping a quick pic in the hot tub as soon as we got to our room!

March Weeks 1 & 2 Recap: Chili, Old Clothes & a Bravo!

2011-03-14T12:26:00.000-04:00

HOWDY Friends!!!

As usual, lots has been going on- lots of healthy new eats, new thought patterns, new goals, new accomplishments, & the new me is slowly emerging!

I seem to think more clearly in organized bullet points (go figure!) so here's what's new:

Yumminess:

As I've shared before, I always spend my Sunday afternoons doing my prep cooking for the week (read: I would be doing fast food runs every night if I didn't) and last week I enjoyed my most delicious pot of chili yet! What's in it? Well: lean ground turkey, black beans, light red kidney beans, garlic, 2 cans crushed tomatoes, some chili seasoning, topped off with some sharp cheddar cheese and BAM deliciousness for 450 calories a bowl (if you take the cheese out you'll save yourself approx 90 calories but since lunch is my biggest meal of the day I went for it!). I just put all the ingredients in my crock pot, forget about it for 5 hours, and viola all my lunches for the week are made!

Happy Trails, My Friend, Because NOW we say GOODBYE!

Saturday I found myself in a cleaning/organizing frenzy and decided to go through my dresser drawers and pitch anything that I don't/can't wear anymore- the result is the picture you see above (MINUS the few biggest pair of pants I kept as a memory- something I'll be able to take pics w/ after I hit my goal weight!). Yes, I've seen the #'s on the scale go down and have felt my pants get baggier but it was truly SO crazy to put on my biggest pair of pants (size 28's) that I used to wear ALL the time and now look just absolutely ridiculous on me. Wanna see?

Although this may not be the most flattering picture, the saggy bum, extra tummy room, and the fact that my pants are now dragging on the floor show some sign of progress right?? In fact, I am now comfortably in a size 22- this is seriously a size I haven't been in since I was like 16 years old- truthfully, I don't even know if I believe I can really be a size 20 it's that far removed from how I've been the last 8 years. I know it will happen, but I'll be standing there with my jaw on the floor when it does :)

Speaking of, check out my size LARGE cardigan that I got from Old Navy a few weeks ago! I kind of feel bad for being so excited about such vain things but while these may not seem like a big deal or accomplishment to many people- it is HUGE to me because it is thing I never thought would happen. Yay!

BRAVO Panera!!!

I have been hearing some rave reviews about Panera's new Thai Chopped Chicken Salad that clocks in at only 390 calories for a whole serving so I decided to check it out for myself- my review- pretty darn decent. It is definitely filling, flavorful, and tasty! I would like to put a warning out there though- it is pretty spicy- not unbearrable, but it definitely has a kick.

I would like to hand out my first official BRAVO to Panera Bread for their new addition of calorie amounts to their in-store menu! Panera has always been good about providing the nutritional information of their food online, but when I stopped in to get my yummy salad and saw that they are now posting the calorie info for each item right on the menu I WAS ECSTATIC! Call me crazy but I firmly believe that all restaurants should be required to post at least the calorie amounts to all their foods on their menus. Sure, people are still going to make unhealthy choices but I would feel better knowing that people CHOSE to make the decision to eat a 1200 calorie meal b/c they knew and understood how bad it was & just didn't care and not because they truly didn't know & don't understand nutrition. Yes, I know people can go online and look up all the nutritional info but we all know that that isn't always a realistic option.

For example, just from looking on the wall menu at Panera I was able to compare my old favorite meal (You pick 2 potato soup & caesar salad) vs. the new meal I had (Thai Chopped Chicken Salad) and just with some quick math make a decision that saved me 250 calories!

There's plenty more I have to share but I'm running low on time SO I'll leave you with a quick picture clue as to what's been going on and what the topic of my next post will be... BYE YA'LL!

Losing Control- In a GOOD Way.

2011-03-03T08:44:00.000-05:00

Why the face?? Well, most of you should recognize this face as that of a person who is not so excited about the lack of progress on the scale. See? I knew you'd recognize it.

Last Weeks WI: 270

This Weeks WI: 270

Result: No loss/No gain

I actually can't really complain- and after the last few days I've had, I was just happy not to see a gain and NOT because I haven't been eating well (b/c I have!) but because I haven't worked out since Sunday. Why haven't I worked out since Sunday? Because for the last 3 days I haven't even been able to walk (let alone sit down, go up/down stairs, get out of bed) without intense pain.

What's causing this pain? JZ. No, I'm not talking about the rapper- JZ is my old friend/newfound trainer.

Here's how the story goes:

In the earlier days of this blog I talked about how I really don't like to tell very many people about my weightloss journey- now if they ask, I'll certainly tell them but it's something that is personal & although it may sound rude, I really just don't want the opinions of people regarding what I should/shouldn't be doing/eating/etc., unless I'm asking for them. It can easily get overwhelming when everyone shares an idea of what works/what doesn't and that makes my perfectionist mind just want to quit since I don't know who or what to believe and don't want to do something wrong. Can anyone else relate?

Well, I recently became good friends with someone (aka JZ) who runs multiple women's bootcamps here in the Pittsburgh area and although we're good friends- I never decided to tell him about my weight loss journey- mostly because it just never came up and I wasn't really sure what would come of it. WELL, the other day the subject finally did come up and after I told him I've lost 82lbs, he seemed kind of surprised/offended that I hadn't told him this earlier because he would be more than happy to help me reach my future goals and wanted to talk more about what I had been doing regarding fitness.

My initial reaction- fear. Not because I was afraid of him or the workouts he might make me do- but a fear of losing control of this journey. Since the begining I've been the person guiding my weight loss, deciding what I could/couldn't do physically and it honesetly freaked me the heck out and almost into a panic to think of letting someone else begin to decide those things for me.

Last Saturday we sat down and talked just about everything having to do with my journey- most of it having to do with my thinking (which he knows (and I agree) is really what success rides on), but also my nutrition (which we both agree is on point), and then my workouts. After talking about fitness for over an hour- I felt like my world had been completely turned upside down- SO much of what I thought was true about working out and how our bodies work in regards to weight loss is simply not true. In my next post I will be sharing the details of my new fitness routine and how I'm having to unlearn almost everything I "knew" but for now know that after our first training session this past Sunday, my legs almost gave out on me when I was leaving down the stairs!

And, needless to say I have been more sore these past 3 days that I have EVER been in my life and per my research- even if I had wanted to work out, I shouldn't as my muscles had clearly not repaired themselves yet. Anyone else have any thoughts/info about working out when you're sore?

Anyhoo, I am SO excited to begin exercising again tomorrow (today will be my last day of rest as there is still a twinge of pain) and to see how my results change as I will be drastically changing my fitness routine. Again, I'll be sharing lots of info about this with you all soon enough- just want to get one week & one weigh in first!

Have a great rest of the week & weekend ya'll- and remember- everytime you say NO to something you are craving or tempted by- you are saying YES to yourself (& vice versa)- just a little tip for the day! :)

My Weekly Food Routine & 1st Group Fitness Class!

2011-02-25T11:06:00.000-05:00

I am just beyond words excited for the changes that have been happening in my life lately.

No major life change has happened, but my point of view, focus, determination, and thought process has completely changed. I am stepping out of my comfort zone, I am beginning to be able to visualize the person I will become and the body I will have, I am gaining the control that I so desperately wanted to have over my food choices and impulses- in short: I AM BECOMING THE PERSON GOD CREATED ME TO BE in so many different ways. Not that God wasn't happy or didn't love me at 352lbs but I know that I wasn't glorifying Him with the choices I was making, nor was I a good reflection of a life that has been completely satisfied by Him. More on that another time.

Here are some Highlights & Updates from the last week:

FOOD: One of the most VITAL keys to my success has been food preparation. Becasue it is hard for me to control myself when eating out (although I still do it quite often) as well as it being expensive, I usually bring my lunch to work every week (M-F). However, because I don't have time in the mornings to cook and pack a lunch everyday, I do ALL of my food prep and packing on Sundays. Luckily, I don't have a hard time eating the same thing for lunch everyday, but if I don't like what I'm eating then it becomes difficult to do that week in and week out- so, I usually try and cook a brand new lunch recipe at least every other week. Some common lunch reoccurences: Turkey Chili, Tuna or Chicken Salad Sandwhiches, or Pasta; and this past week PIZZA joined the ranks of my lunch favorites! The pic above is the pizza I made this past week and it was seriously the BEST thing I have EVER made- I could prob eat it for lunch every day for the rest of the month! I used: Trader Joe's rustic ciabbata pizza crust, Trader Joe's basil marinara spaghetti sauce, reduced fat part skim mozzarella cheese, mushrooms, spinach, red onion, garlic, and chicken. So. freaking. delicious. Next time I make it I will be more careful to calculate the exact nutritional info but if I had to guess, I believe for 2 slices it was about 350 calories and with 4 servings coming out of each pizza, I'm good for lunch for almost the entire week! You all will be seeing more pizza creations from me in the future, no doubt. Anyone have any good recipe suggestions that are easy to make & pack for the week in advance?
My weigh in this week was pretty much exactly what I expected: At last week's weigh in I had a 7lb loss so my goal for this week was pretty much to just maintain that loss (something that is hard for me to do for some reason); however, I was able to do just that and weighed in at 270lbs this Thursday. My goal for next week's weigh in? A 2lb loss, total loss of 84lbs, at 268lbs.

One of my goals for the month of February was to check out a group fitness class- this is something I've wanted to do for a while for a couple of reasons: 1) I can feel myself beginning to get a bit bored with doing 45 min on the elliptical 4x's a week and was in need of some variety, 2) I don't want my body to get used to using the same muscles at the same amount of resistance, and 3) I am ALL about not allowing fear to keep me from doing ANYTHING and working out with a group of people who may be more fit than I am and might judge me if I'm not able to keep up w/the class is pretty scary to me. WELL...this past Wednesday I had my first group fitness class experience through my local YMCA and I attended Zumba. Prior to going I had heard really good things about the class from some co-workers (mostly that it was fun and a really good workout) and it seemed to be the least intimidating option; when I arrived I was suprised to see that I was one of the 5 people there under the age of 50, which immediately calmed my nerves but made me suspicious about how much of a good workout I would actually be getting. My final evaluation? While it was a nice break from the old elliptical, there were numerous times throughout the class that I found myself wondering why I was finding it so easy and if I was wasting my precious workout time. I had to constantly make the moves more challenging and continue marching while everyone else took water breaks after every song, but when I checked my calorie burn on my heart rate monitor, it did show I had burned 592 calories in the 50 minute class session AND my butt and legs are freaking killing me- perhaps it was a better workout than I thought! In the end, I probably will be attending the class on more of a bi-weekly basis than weekly (for variety), I am glad that I went and proud of myself for not allowing fear to hold me back from something I had no reason to be afraid of. My next step of kicking fear in the face? Spin. I am by no means confident in my ability to even make it through a class but I am going to try. I'm hoping that it will have the challenging aspect that I'm looking for and that I may end up being passionate about it. I'm not gonna lie- I'm truly nervous about it, but that's not gonna stop me. I plan to take my first class next week if not this weekend. What has your experience with Zumba been? Did you like or dislike it? Also, should I be afraid to try spinning?

Alright, I think this post has gotten long enough (this posting only one time a week thing usually leaves me with lots to talk about!), but I've got to say- there's absolutely nothing like doing something you never thought you could do before and becoming a person you never even thought you could become. I love it.

Have a good weekend :)

Inspiration: The Biggest Loser!

2011-02-17T08:19:00.000-05:00

Happy Thursday!

Well friends, today is my weigh in day and I am pretty. stinkin'. stoked. b/c FINALLY after MONTHS of floating around between losing 1lb one week, gaining 2lbs the next, losing 3lbs the next, gaining 1lbs the following week (which was probably more due to my lack of commitment than a plateu), my newfound determination has tangibly shown on the scale this week:

Last Weeks Weigh In: 277lbs

This Weeks Weigh In: 270lbs (-7lbs!!!)

For a Total Journey Loss of: 82lbs!!!

Seeing this # on the scale this morning was honestly a pretty big shock as my goal was to be 275lbs this week and 273lbs by the end of the month- so YAY!

Lately I have found some newfound commitment, focus, and determination in myself and when I thought about where this has come from I can undoubtedly say that a BIG source of it has been from watching The Biggest Loser. I know it is obviously not shocking to hear that I'm inspired by TBL, I'm sure ALL of us are, and although I've been watching for seasons none has seem to have the effect on me that this season has. First of all, it's just great tv- the addition of 2 new trainers has definitely stepped up the drama and I love it- but besides that, here are some of the ways the show has been truly inspiring me and helping me on this journey lately:

The girl above has one of the BEST attitudes about weight loss that I have ever seen. Every time she steps on the scale she can do it with confidence because she KNOWS that she has given everything she has that week. And when the scale doesn't necessarily show a number that she feels is equivalent to how hard she's worked that week, she just shrugs it off and keeps on moving becuase she knows that sooner or later- she'll get there. I would like to believe that I have adopted her attitude on this journey- I will give my BEST every day so that when I weigh in I will know I've done everything I possibly can and allow that to determine my progress and success and not a number on the scale. I truly hope Courtney goes all the freaking way!

The BIGGEST thing I have gotten from watching TBL is help in the form of the way I think. There were NUMEROUS times this past week that I didn't want to workout (I had a cold) or I wanted to eat cookie cake like everyone else in my office did and right in the middle of me rationalizing these thoughts in mind as to why I could just skip a workout or have that piece of cake I thought to myself, "What would I do in this situation if I was on The Biggest Loser right now?" or "What would I think of a contestant (aka Arthur) if they were eating a piece of cookie cake right now?" And suddenly it all becomes very clear in my mind- and I make the right decision. When I'm watching TBL I realize how serious it is for these contestants and just how desperately they need this and how determined they will have to be to change their lives and even though there aren't TV cameras following me around, a televised weigh in coming up, or the chance to win half a million dollars, I still HAVE to be just as intense, just as focused, and just as determined because the very same things are up for stake.

Some of you may know that running is something I have always wanted to do but felt extremely intimidated by. I have had multiple DREAMS (like literal sleeping dreams) about running and every time I'm running in my dream I always have the same thought: "I love this, I could do this forever." How crazy is that? Anyways, I have been trying to figure out when I should begin running and I just keep wondering if I'm too large to start running now or if I should wait until I lose some more weight- it's truly a thought that's been plaguing me. And THEN, I saw Rulon (one of my absolute FAVORITE players this season) running 12mph with his 400+lb frame and I KNEW I could do it to. Furthermore, even Arthur has been running on the treadmill. If they can do it, I CAN DO IT. Plain and simple. It may take me a little longer, but I will become a runner. Who had been placing these limitations on me? No one but myself! I have recently made a pact with myself, every time I go into the gym I want to think about something I currently don't think I can do, and then do it! I need to stop putting limitations on myself, the sky is the limit for me and I need to start living that! And yesterday was the 1st step in doing that: I went to the gym (even though I stayed home from work for being sick! ...haha) and after doing the elliptical I decided to jump on the treadmill and start running. At first I though I would probably be able to do 30 seconds one time...well, by the time I was finished I had jogged for 1 minute, twice! If it weren't for me having seen Rulon and Arthur running on the treadmill weighing almost 150lbs more than me, I would never have done that yesterday.

I am doing this and it feels great. I have new goals and am experiencing some really cool things with my weight loss and I'm truthfully enjoying the journey of transforming into the person I was created to be. I am going to give it my all, every day and destroy any fear or impossibility along the way.

Has anything from this season of BL inspired anyone else? If so, I'd like to hear about it!

Poppin' In for a Weigh In!

2011-02-10T09:45:00.000-05:00

Hey friends-

Just poppin' in real quick to share my weigh in results:

Last Week: 279

This Week: 277

Meaning an OFFICIAL 75LB loss!!! Whoo freaking hoo :)

Movin' forward, movin' forward :)

An Update in Pictures!

2011-02-09T10:22:00.000-05:00

Hi!!!

With me only blogging weekly (*cough* and sometimes bi-weekly *cough*), I always have SO much that I want to share with you all! Ahhh, where to start....how about an update in pictures? Yes.

Well, one good thing that came out of my 3 weeks of veganism is that I began to learn to cook with new foods (primarily vegetables) and I'm no longer afraid to encorporate them into my diet! The pasta below (while it may may not look appetizing due to having taken the pic w/ my cell phone and it being in a plastic container), it was truly yummy. I used ww ronzoni healthy harvest pasta, 1 can of stewed tomatoes, lots of fresh spinach leaves, reduced fat feta, evoo, lemon juice, artichokes, shrimp, and mushrooms. YUM. Aren't you proud of me? This may have been the most creative thing I have ever cooked! haha Sad, I know :)

I have also become newly obsessed with making omelets for dinner, lunch, breakfast- shoot, I'll eat one wherever and whenever! Can you believe this WHOLE plate of food was only 200 calories???!? LOVE IT. To be specific, I used egg beaters, spinach, red onion, and reduced fat colby shredded cheese and 2 slices of turkey bacon. I wouldn't be surprised if I eat this meal a few more times this week.

As you all know, I live in Pittsburgh and this past weekend was a BIG weekend for us Steeler fans which ultimately lead to a BIG disappointment. Ahh...oh well, although it was agonizing, it was pretty amazing to live in the city of Pittsburgh during this time and get to experience just how crazy dedicated Pittsburgh fans truly are. Below is a picture of me (not a super great one obviously! lol) and my dear friend this Sunday at church- obviously rockin' our Steelers gear! Next year...next year... ;)

A new love has entered my life- his name? Cinnamon Burst Cheerios. For real- these things are AMAZING. I have always had a dilemma with Cheerios as I really like the honey nut ones, but think the regular (and consequently more healthy) regular Cheerios taste like cardboard. Discovering the Cinnamon Burst Cheerios has officially restored my love for the brand as they honestly taste creepily (in a good way) like Cinnamon Toast Crunch- and I'm sorry, but who doesn't love them some cinnamon toast crunch? Paired with some UVAB (unsweetened vanilla almond breeze) it is kind of out of this world! It has more fiber than the original cereal and doesn't make me want to pour sugar on it- super sweat, super decadent. Wonder if they could ditch the Bee and make me their new spokesperson??? ;)

Ok, enough pictures for today.

In the last week I have regained my focus. I never "fell off the wagon" but I definitely was struggling in my mind to do anything related to weight loss/fitness last week: I didn't want to exercise, eat anything green, or even think about goal setting and then I turned to old faithful (AKA- The Biggest Loser) to put things into perspective and give me the motivation and focus I needed to get back to being the committed person I am.

Here's something odd that I'm realizing: Because I am currently the smallest that I can ever remember being in the last...well, a long time, and I'm not experiencing a lot of the discomfort that I was when I weighed 352lbs, that I don't feel the need to loose weight to be as pressing and urgent as I once did. Obviously this is not true- I still have 100lbs to lose, but I've always had a hard time being disatisfied with the way I look (I know that may sound crazy), but I've always just dealt with what I had and made due.

Right now I am focused as a laser beam running right toward what I want: To become the healthy, fit person I was created to and want to be.

I am:
* Staying within my 1700 calorie budget (that will gradually decrease over time).
* Counting/Writing down my calories.
* Exercising 4x's per week (75% Cardio 25% Strenth Training).

So that I can:
* Weigh 265lbs by March 26th (1st Wedding I'm in for 2011).
* Lose 100lbs by May 15th (losing an avg. of 2lbs per week)
* Begin running by April/May of 2011.

Keep moving forward friends, because IT is worth it and YOU are worth it!

p.s. Tomorrow's Weigh In Day... hoping to see 277lbs on the scale (a 75lb weight loss!)

Veganism: Week 2 & Weigh In

2011-01-20T08:33:00.000-05:00

Hola amigos!

As you know, it's weigh in day- and I'm smack dab in the middle of my vegan fast sooo check it out:

Weigh In Prior to Fast: 282lbs
Weigh In Last Week (1 Week Into Fast): 278lbs (-4lbs)
Weigh In This Week (2 Weeks Info Fast): 279lbs (+1lbs)

Hmmm. I'm a little annoyed but emphasis on the LITTLE b/c I'm not quite sure how this happened- I've been clocking good workouts, haven't been eating all that much, and blah blah blah. I've come to the conclusion (especially from reading the amount of weigh in blog posts I have) that there are a million different reasons as to why we get on the scale and our efforts don't seem to compute into a loss that we want to see, and to try and speculate what the reason was when I know I've done well is just...well, a waste of time. All I know is I'll get to where I want to go, I will succeed, and I am on no one's clock but mine. In fact, I am only 2lbs away from my January 31st goal of weighing no more than 277lbs- so I'm doing juuuuuust fine.

If you're beating yourself up over a 1 or 2lb gain coming off of a week where you KNOW that you've done your BEST (emphasis on doing your best, not continually chomping on candy and loaves of bread and then sulking when you don't a loss on the scale- oops, did I just say that out loud???) then hold your head high and keep on running towards what you know you will accomplish.

Ok, I'm off my soap box (I swear I have a vacation home up there!) and thought I'd share what it is I'm eating during this vegan fast- remember, I keep things simple so it's nothing fancy shmancy:

Breakfast: Amy's Vegan Honey Bunny Rabit Cereal (apparently, I'm 5 years old) w/ Unsweetend Almond Milk.
Snacks: Apples, Oranges, and Raw Trail Mix from Trader Joe's.
Lunch: An Asian Stir Fry made with: Organic brown rice, zucchini, squash, red onion, carrots, reduced-sodium soy sauce (which maybe cheating- not completely sure), and pine nuts.
Dinner: Salad (red onion, sliced almonds, & tomatoes) w/ homeade dressing & Amy's Organic Tomato Bisque Soup.
Dessert: 6 oz. glass of 100% Cranberry/Raspberry juice (I know, the sugar is a bit much but it's my only form of sweetness right now).

So yea- I'm ready for some meat and soda in my life but I am considering making soda somethig I only drink on special occasions or when I go out to eat (aka- not one for lunch every day) but who knows- this fast has definitely helped me to tie up any loose ends with compulsive eating.

SO- it has been a while since I've shared some NSV's (Non-Scale Victories) and they've become more frequent (yayyyyy!) so I thought I'd share some:

#1) How about I can totally begin to feel bones and muscles in my body that I never knew I had. Like for real- as I mentioned before, I'm mildly obsessed with my collar bone and yesterday at the gym I could actually feel the muscles in my legs contracting instead of just believing they were hidden under the fat somewhere. I love it! Same thing with my forearms!
#2) I've had numerous people at church come up to me and finally say, "Um...have you been losing weight....like, a lot of weight?" haha this is rather comforting as I've been wondering why I've lost 73lbs and some of my closest comrads haven't said anything but now I guess the cats out of the bag- and I guess it just takes longer to notice weight loss the bigger you are (at least that's what I'm hoping!) Thoughts on that?
#3) I had one of my clients ask me if I was losing weight because my pants looked like they were about to fall off...haha oh dear. Have I mentioned I'm a welfare caseworker and my clients are extremely blunt and honest? lol Either way, I definitely took it as a compliment :)

Ok, I think this post has gotten long enough, but now that I'm only writing once a week I have a lot to share :) I'm also enjoying catching up on all of your blogs (and enjoying some new readers blogs as well) so keep it coming!

Adios!

21 Days of Veganism= Oh Boy!

2011-01-12T13:46:00.000-05:00

Howdy partners!

Thanks for all the positive feedback on my 2011 goals- this is going to be a great year and I'm looking forward to seeing many of you accomplish your goals as well!

It has become the practice of many Christians recently to begin the new year by fasting in some sort of way in order to get focused on God and de-clutter life for a while. Many believers choose to fast food completely (and only drink water or juice), others may choose to stop eating only certain things (fast food), while others choose to abstain from some form of media. I really enjoy and regularly participate in fasting as it really does help me focus on God while keeping various aspects of my life "in check."

While I typically lean towards doing a water only/juice only fast, this year I felt that I should do something different and as of Monday I've embarked on a 21 day "Daniel Fast" which is for all intensive purposes a variation of a VEGAN diet (or at least what I understand to be one). Now, anyone that knows me (or has even read my blog for any period of time) knows that I pretty much eat Chicken at every meal (excluding breakfast) and the idea of becoming a vegetarian/vegan has never been something I would ever/have ever considered doing; however, I've taken the plunge and for this 21 day period I will be:

Abstaining From All:

- Meat

- Dairy

- Eggs

- Soda

- Candy
- Anything made from White Flour
- Anything containing salt or sugar (in the ingredients list)
- Eating out (yikes!!!!)

My Diet Consists Of:

- Fruits

- Vegetables

- Whole Grain/Whole Wheat items

- Water

- Beans

And that's about it folks. Truthfully, this has been easier in some ways as I'm used to not being able to eat at all during fasting, but on the other hand I'm quite the veggie-virgin and have never abstained from meat or dairy IN MY LIFE. While I have absolutely no intentions of maintaining this lifestyle after these 3 weeks, I am learning a lot and think this can only be a good thing for my weight loss journey as well as my relationship with God.

Having to work with foods that I've never tried before (and with such a limited number of options) has definitely caused me to get creative in the kitchen- here are some of my latest food endeavours:

I created this semi-delicious "dessert" when I began having cravings for something sweet. It's a whole-wheat cinnamon raisin english muffin topped with a mashed up banana, vanilla, and cinnamon. It wasn't great but it did the job.

Now this was delicious! I picked up some brown rice tortillas at Trader Joes (which I was a little afraid of at first but are def decent) and threw them in the oven to create some "tortilla chips", and topped with it with Trader Joe's garlic hummus, a tomato slice, and some balsamic vinegar. I do believe I will be having 3-4 more of these tonight with a nice side salad.

I am interested to see what my weigh in will be like tomorrow- particularly with cutting out soda- I usually onl y drink diet anyways but I know my sodium levels have definitely gone down. I guess we'll have to see!

Anyways, I'll be sharing more of my adventures as a temporary vegan throughout the next few weeks, enjoy at my expense :)

Peace out girl (and boy) scouts!

My 2011 Goals!

2011-01-07T16:10:00.000-05:00

Well, 2011 is officially underway and so far so GREAT but boy (oh boy) has it been a busy week! Some highlights from this week:

- I officially hit 282lbs this morning making for a 70lb loss!
- I took my new Polar HRM that I got for Christmas to the gym yesterday for its first test run and I love it! I really think it's going to help keep me challenged to work out at a high intensity level and allow me to leave with a sense of accomplishment (which I sometimes lack) because I'll know exactly how hard I worked out and how many calories I burned. For example, yesterday I burned 560 calories! Woot Woot! I would say that's a pretty decent number for a workout, right?

- I measured myself this week for the first time since July or so and it was cool to see some of the changes that have taken place. I had a major weight loss stall there for a few months (like four!) but I am definitely in my groove again!
- I have been fighting off some major junk food cravings that have made me feel like a bottomless pit; I'm hoping that this is due to some stressful/dramatic/depressing events that have happened recently with a friend and that as the situation continues to blow over that these wacky food cravings will subside but regardless, I've been fighting like a champ and have done pretty dang well.
- I sat down and thought about what it is I really want out of 2011 and set some goals not only for the month of January (which I'll continue to do every month), but also some weight loss AND fitness goals for the year. I am a bit of a goal-freak so this has me pretty excited!

And now I'd like to officially put my goals out there and share them with you all! I'm really looking forward to being able to encourage my bloggy friends as your goals are pursued and know that I'll be getting the same encouragment and accountability back :)

January 2011 Goals:

#1) Join a Group Fitness Class at my gym- Honestly, this is something I'm mildly terrified of. In my mind I have been able to convince myself that I'm doing pretty well fitness wise and I'm afraid my bubble is going to be burst in a major way that will result in major embarassment but I've decided I'm not living in FEAR and will be checking out one of these classes this month (probably Zumba) in order to get some variety in my workout routine.

#2) Continue my Workout Routine: I joined the YMCA in my community a few months back and have set a goal for myself of working out 4x's per week. My routine includes cardio on the elliptical, free weights, weighted balls (not sure what they are called), and lots of ab work.

#3) Weigh no more than 277lbs by January 31st: This will bring me to a total loss of 75lbs by the end of the month. I know some people do not like setting goals in the form of pounds lost but having a specific goal to work towards helps keep me focused and determined.

My Goals for 2011:

#1) I really want to leave any trace of me being an obese person behind in 2011. My current "goal weight" is set at 180lbs but for me, being in the 100's is like a DREAM. So while I'm not ready to set a specific goal # just yet, my goal is to at least have a 1 in front of my weight by December 31st. Perhaps when the time draws nearer I'll set an actual numeric goal. I have set a few different "benchmark" weights that you can see on the right sidebar- my first: To have lost 100lbs my March 26th (the date of a wedding I am in).

#2) To begin running. Even at my heaviest, I have always envied runners and wanted to be one. Truthfully, I don't know that I can even take myself seriously when I say that I'm going to one day be one but there's something inside of me telling me I will and that I'll find a lot of joy and fulfillment in it. No joke- I've even been having MULTIPLE dreams at night lately where I'm running and just absolutely love it (how weird is that???). Anyways, I'd like to say my goal is to run a 5k but that pretty much freaks me out and feels overwhelming; I will say; however, that my goal is to be able to run a full mile by the end of the year. I don't think I've EVER run a mile before ... like... ever in my life. Right now, I'm thinking that I'll begin encorporating running sometime in March.

So- there you have it. I know that I've done well but I not even halfway there yet so I'm prepared to run full steam ahead throughout this year. I realize how unique this part of my life is- I'm single and don't have any kids- although my life is crazy busy now, it will be even harder when I'm having to share my life with someone else or in charge of the lives of others and I need to take advantage of this time now while I can.

I can give two years of my life to this- one down, one to go. Here's to accomplishing things I never thought possible!

Adios 2010, Hola 2011!

2011-01-03T14:48:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year!

I can't believe that 2010 is over- time really does fly by. It seems like a minute ago that I began this blog and was gearing up for everything to come in 2010...and now, it's 2011!

The Holidays were pretty great for me- here's a short recap: I visited my family in Arizona and since I hadn't been home in a year and half it really was amazing to be home. I went home weighing 69 (but I like to say 70) lbs less and it was a great feeling. I hope all of you had a great Holiday Season with your loved ones as well :)

As many of you know my goal in 2010 was to lose 100lbs and while I came up about 30lbs short of that goal I am still very proud of myself. I (like many people), need to learn when to give myself a little "pat on the back" instead of always being so hard on myself all of the time- which is why I'm celebrating that in 2010 I:

- Dropped 10 "points" off of my BMI, going from 50 to 40! Making me only .01 percent from being just plain old OBESE instead of being MORBIDLY OBESE. Dear Lord, I never thought I would be celebrating being OBESE but you've gotta take what you can get I guess, right? lol

- Went from walking being my primary form of exercise to the elliptical trainer being my primary form. Also, starting out being only able to do 10 minutes on the elliptical to now doing 45 minutes with ease.

- Went from eating absolutely whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted (ex: 500 cal Starbucks drinks, entire bags of chips and dip, etc.) to now understanding nutrition and being mindful and in control of what I eat.

- Went from being terrified to step foot in a gym to now having absolutely no issue with it :)

- Went from having to use a seat belt extender on an airplane to now being able to just use the provided, normal seat belt, just like everyone else!

- Went from weighing 352lbs to 283lbs!! For a total loss of 69lbs :)

I surely have a long way to go in 2011 and have some pretty exciting plans in store (to be shared soon!) but I did what I set out to do in 2010... I changed my life forever.

I am proud of what I've accomplished so far- I feel like I've made the major changes in my THINKING that were so needed and now it's just a matter of staying the course, moving forward, and challenging myself to do things I never thought possible! 2011- HERE I COME!

Thought I'd conclude this post with a picture I shared towards the beginning of my blog- it is of me and my cousin Tatum the last time I was home for Christmas in 2008:

And below is a picture of me and my cousin Ashley from when I was visiting them this year for Christmas 2010 (not the best quality but it is all I've got!):

Happy 2011 Ya'll!

Days #346-#353: Progress Pics Installment #3

2010-12-18T00:43:00.000-05:00

Tonight I am finally getting around to posting my 3rd installment of progress pictures. I started out this weight loss journey at 352lbs but didn't take my first progress pic until 333lbs, my second at 312lbs, and my third at my current weight 284lbs. On to the progression....

That's enough for now- thankfully, I can see a change- maybe not in all the areas I would wish for but I will get there.

Days #314 - #345: Update Time :)

2010-12-10T15:35:00.000-05:00

Happy November & December!

After a much needed month long break from blogging I'm checking in to provide an update on where I currently find myself in this journey, where I'm going, & how I intend on getting there, as well as just to say hi :)

So why the blogging break? I've been living life. There were countless times where I would feel such pressure to write even if I had nothing to say or didn't want to and that's really not what this is about. Some bloggers have found writing health blogs to be their new ultimate passion and hobby and while I think that is FANTASTIC and am thankful for the great tips and stories they share, I've come to the realization that while losing weight is in my top 5 priorities in life, health blogging is not even on my top 10 list of priorities AND that it's ok.

I enjoy chronicling my journey and writing about my thoughts and goals (which I have been privately doing at Sparkpeople) and if someone else can read this and be inspired- then great- but if not, it's really just for me anyways. So now that I'm sure I've convinced anyone reading this that I'm narcissistic and don't care about anyone reading my blog (which is certainly NOT the case), I'm happy to say that I know I plan on posting once a week and sharing updates and other misc. happenings.

So, update time!

My current weight is 284lbs which brings me to a total weight loss of 68lbs! I am super happy about this and I am 100% doing the best I've ever done since beginning this journey.
I set a goal a few months ago to have lost 70lbs by the time I fly home for Christmas (Dec 21st) and now that I'm only 2lbs away from that goal- I'm hoping to say I'll be able to reach it!
A few weeks ago I switched gyms and joined my local YMCA and love it. It's affordable, has a community feel, and is less than 5 minutes away from my house (compared to the 30ish minutes that I was driving EACH way to my other gym).
Last Saturday I hit a rather large fitness milestone in my mind when I exercised on the elliptical for 45 minutes! I've been doing 30 minutes for a few months now and have always felt that I was pretty maxed out at that so when I was able to do 45 minutes (and even felt like I could have kept going!) I was pretty proud. I just remember the days when I could only do 10 minutes before feeling like my heart would beat out of my chest.
As far as my eating, it has been SO much more clean, natural, and FRUIT and VEGGIE filled than normal, which leads me to believe that it has contributed to my recent weight loss. I've been sticking to 5 (sometimes 6) small meals every day and have had some amazing success with resisting temptation- I truly feel like I've hit that turning point where I've become a different person and I LOVE IT.

Finally, I'll leave you with a more recent pic of me and a good friend after one of the waaayyyy too many events that I've been putting on this Holiday season (haha) See you next week! :)

Days #288 - #313: 1 Year Ago...

2010-11-08T15:16:00.000-05:00

Helloooo!!

(No worries- I haven't died and I didn't "fall off" the wagon- I simply have been livin' life!)

I can hardly believe that 1 year ago today I began this journey of healthy living and weight loss.

On November 8th, 2009 I stood on the scale and saw a # that horried and disgusted me: 352.

On November 8th, 2010 I stood on the scale and saw a very different #- one I'm proud of: 289.

I'm 63lbs down in a year and couldn't be happier :)

Right now I'm still trucking along toward reaching my goal of losing 75lbs by December 21st (the day I fly home for Christmas and see my family who remember me at 352lbs) and I'm only 12lbs away!!!

ANNNNDDD because I'm down another 20lbs it's time for me to post my next progress pic which will happen later this week.

During this last month that I've been MIA I've done a lot of rethinking and have made some major changes which I hope to be sharing with ya'll (along withe progress pic) very soon!

There is also no way that I could conclude this post without saying a BIG thank you to all of the bloggers who have been there through the thick and thin(ner) me :)

Days #282 - #287: Random Soup

2010-10-13T14:08:00.000-04:00

Get your spoons out because if you keep reading you are about to enjoy a big ol' bowl of randomness...there are so many thoughts flowing through my mind that I'm pretty sure there is no way I'll be able to organize them into a nice perfectly packaged post so here it goes!

I'm realizing I haven't come as far with my relationship with food as I thought I had. Earlier on in my journey I felt like food had kind of...lost it's power over me, but recently I just have been having the hardest time saying "no." Very soon I'm going to be exploring when/where/why these situations occur and how I can try and avoid/deal with them.

Biggest Loser pretty much rocks my world. Sure, I can relate with some disgrunteled viewers who say that the extreme success the BL's see isn't healthy for the average dieter (ex: someone losing 20lbs in a week as was shown on last night's episode) but I can't even say how big of a motivator watching the show is for me- mainly for 2 reasons: #1) It shows me that I can ALWAYS be working harder. When I see people who are bigger than me working out harder than me- it pushes me to go harder. And #2) It doesn't allow me to feel sorry for myself- when I saw Aaron (who weighs 440lbs or so) do 10 two-minute sprints last night that pretty much just blew my whole idea of "because I am just under 300lbs I'm in no place to jog" right out the freaking window.

Starting yesterday I am beginning to use an online calorie counting tool called "The Daily Plate;" this is a tool that used a while back and really enjoy- it allows me to chart my weight loss progress, figure out how many calories I should be eating each day to lose weight, informs me as to how many calories I am burning on average through certain activities, and most importantly- keep track of not only my calories but carbs, fat, sodium levels as well. I am only planning on tracking w/this online tool M-F because I know I won't do it on the weekends since I'm rarely in front of the computer and I'd just be setting myself up for failure if I said I would do it everyday so I'm going to be realistic and do just M-F. Anyone else ever use The Daily Plate?
This past weekend we got in some really good community service time- it's always fun when exercise and serving others can coincide- here's a pic of our group!

That's all folks! Hope you enjoyed your bowl o' random soup :)

Days #279 - #281: From Fickle to Focused!

2010-10-07T09:23:00.000-04:00

Right now...I'm pretty ticked at myself.

For some unexplained reason I've been eating like crap for the last 2 days. Now, by "eating like crap" I don't mean gorging myself on pizza or anything but I've definitely not been taking steps TOWARD my goal.

For accountability sake, I'll tell you all that I:
- Went out to dinner w/ a friend on Tuesday evening and ate WAYYYY too much bread.
- Had small donut yesterday morning even though I had already eaten breakfast.
- Ate french fries w/ my dinner yesterday.
- Choose to have 4-5 pretzel drums dipped in cinnamon sauce last night.
- And had another small donut this morning w/ a bottled vanilla frappuccino even though I already had breakfast.

Argh!!! I'm seriously mad at myself and I have EVERY reason to be- I know that all of those choices were STUPID.

But, unlike times in the past where I would have just given up I'm using this frusteration to fuel me and keep me focused to do my VERY BEST for the rest of today, tomorrow, and Saturday leading up to my weigh in on Sunday morning where I am SO hoping to hit 60 pounds lost! And, I'm also only 1 lb away from posting my next progress picture over there on the sidebar!

For example, I'm going out tonight with my girls to a new restaurant called Church Brew Works and I've already checked out the menu to decide what I'm going to get and will be eating my yummy homeade chili for lunch today.

I need to start focusing more on my goals and envisioning where I want to be b/c I've been at this TOO long to be doing stupid stuff like eating a donut that I really don't even want just because it's there. Lesson learned.

On a brighter note, I went to the Pirates game the other day with my church fam and had splendid time! While the Pirates officially suck, PNC park is absolutely beautiful and we had amazing seats! Wanna see me cheesin'? :)

Peace out ya'll! Prove to yourself just how strong you really are today!

Days #273 - #278: Long, Short, and Short-er!

2010-10-04T16:07:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm only 1lb away from being 60lbs down!

Being that the time is drawing near when I originally began this journey (Nov 8th) I've been doing a lot of reflecting about just how far I've come in a year- sure, I know I won't make my goal of losing 100lbs by December 31st (I've come to terms with that finally!) but I will have lost a significant amount of weight- something I have NEVER done before!

Like I said- I realize my original goal is not something that will happen but you know what? WHO CARES!?! My ultimate goal is not to lose 100lbs by December 31st, my ultimate goal is too lose all of my extra weight and I KNOW that will happen- whether that's on December 31st or any other date.

That's not to say that I'm still not setting goals- that is just in my blood (I do it in all areas of my life) and it gives me something to strive for and feel good about achieving; which is why I've recently set 2 new "short-term" weight loss goals to go along with my long-term one; in case you've never heard them they are:

*Long-Term Goal: To weigh 175lbs (a total loss of 177lbs)
*Short-Term Goal: To have lost 100lbs by March 26th (that is the date of the wedding I am in!)
*Short-er Term Goal: To have lost 75lbs by December 21st.

I am currently 16 pounds away from achieving my "short-er term goal" and I'm going after this with all I've got.

So why December 21st?

Well, I am originally from AZ (which is where all of my family lives) but moved to Pittsburgh awhile back and due to finances/timing I wasn't able to go home for Christmas last year but have already booked my ticket (ouch btw!) to fly home for Christmas this year...on December 21st! By that time I will have been away from home for 1 year and 6 months and it is one of my strongest desires to meet my family and friends in the airport and for their jaws to drop!

My family has always been very kind in regards to my being overweight- belive it or not I am the only overweight person in my family and I can probably count on both my hands the # of times anyone has ever mentioned my weight being an issue in my entire life; which I'm sure we can all agree is both a positive & negative thing. Regardless, I know they have all wanted me to lose weight for a LONG time- for my health and because well, they're my family!

They do know that I've been "losing weight" but none of them have any idea how much and I would be able to hold my head even higher being able to say that I've lost 75lbs! Granted, I know that 59lbs is something to be proud of too- but 75lbs is what I'm shooting for.

This was a picture of me during my last trip to AZ, so this is how they remember me:

I don't think I look like this anymore...but sometimes it is truthfully hard for me to tell! Oh well, the scale doesn't lie...I am 1lb away from 60lbs being gone!

Yipeee!

Anybody else have a hard time seeing your own weight loss? 

Days #269 - #272: Quick Update!

2010-09-28T20:36:00.000-04:00

Hi friends!

Anyone else loving them some Fall?! Being that I've lived in states with only 2 seasons for most of my life (AZ/FL)- I appreciate Fall even that much more.

So- let's talk. It's update time:

- I'm still in the midst of my $ challenge and doing wonderfully. I still can't believe how difficult it was for me to break the cycle of feeling the need to eat out for every meal but it really isn't even an issue anymore- I enjoy my cooking and I enjoy knowing what is going into the food I eat. I know a few of your mentioned you were going to be joining me for this experiment- how's it going?

- One of my newest creations is pizza on naan tandori bread (delicious!) Check it out!

- I have officially changed my weigh in days back to Sundays (due to another round of the Biggest Loser Challenge that has started back up) so I'll be posting my weigh in this coming Sunday.

- Today, I hit the gym and spent 30 mins on the elliptical, 15 minutes on the upright bike, and then did the weight training circuit- and it felt awesome.

Alright ya'll, I'm keeping it short and sweet for today- I'm getting ready to sit down and soak up some Biggest Loser inspiration for the evening!

Peace.

Days #267 & #268: My $ Experiment!

2010-09-24T09:35:00.000-04:00

Toward the beginning of my journey I shared that I believe one of the major causes of my obesity was I found some sense of normalcy or control over my life when I would be able to go out and eat with friends or even by myself; this was probably because growing up my family ate out a lot and so when I went to college and was dirt poor it would bother me if I didn't have $ to spend on food so as soon as I got $ I would usually spend it on that- hence gaining even more weight.

Since the beginning of this journey that has been something I've been working on changing- realizing that my sense of normalcy and self-control shouldn't come from being able to eat whatever/wherever I want, but from having control over food and not the other way around- not eating out/eating bad just because I can.

Well, out of curiosity the other day I went online to my bank account and decided to add up the amount of money that I spen in August on eating out...um...wow. I really would rather not say how much I spent eating out but let's just say it is more than my rent or my car payment. Say what!? Yep. It's true. So after I picked my jaw up off the floor, I realized that I may not have successfully broken this pattern of getting my sense of normalcy and control from eating out after all so I began a 2 week experiment; here are the stipulations:

1- No frivilous eating out; I can only eat out 1 meal per week each week (unless someone else offers to pay).

2- No spending ANY $ on food outside of that one meal. Too often I convince myself that I need to go to Trader Joe's or another supermarket for groceries but I really don't. I'm challenging myself to not buy any more groceries but eat off of what I already have in the house.

I began this experiment this past Monday and so far so good. I have spent a total of $17 dollars on food this week where I would normally have spent at least $45-$50 and this isn't even including the weekend (which is when I usually spend the most!).

Truthfully, I'm learning A LOT from this experiment and I'll be sharing some of these lessons throughout the week but first I thought I'd show some of the interesting creations I've been coming up with since my challenge to only make meals from what I already have at home (nothing too exciting- just some of my basics):

Peanut Butter Oatmeal- I eat this for breakfast every morning at work (M-F) and I love it. I use high fiber maple syrup instant oatmeal (160 cals), 3/4 cup skim milk (60 cals), and 1 tbls of all natural reduced fat peanut butter (95)- a little high in cals but SO filling and SO delicious!

I created this yummy salad with romaine, homeade chicken salad (including crazines), and instead of using croutons I used pretzel thins from trader joes! Get this- 23 pretzel things for only 110 cals!

Flat bread white pizza (or at least that's what I call it!) I used the flatbreads above from Trader Joes (110 cals), mushrooms, tomotoes, light provolone, hummus, and garlic! Throw it in the oven and hello deliciousness!

Alright, excuse the fugly picture but I've been meaning to make something like this for awhile and finally got around to it- and BOY was it easy peasy! I just got a bag of mini red potatoes, cut em up, rolled em around in some oil and Mrs. Dash, threw em in the oven for 10 minutes and then enjoy an amazing side dish!

I can't lie- not eating out hasn't been easy for me- particularly when I'm used to eating out 8ish times a week but it really just isn't worth the effect that it's been having on my bank account or on the scale.

Anyone else wanna join me for week 2 of this challenge?

Days #263- #266: What do you BELIEVE?

2010-09-22T09:35:00.002-04:00

Hey Ya'll!

Thanks for all of your sweet comments on the bridesmaid pictures- they meant a lot ;)

Here's a truth that a friend and I were talking about recently (in a different context) that I've just been itching to share: It is only a matter of time before we live our lives in a manner consistant with what we believe about ourselves.

Think about it- this is a truth that can be seen in a variety of different life situations, for example:

- Someone who has suffered from alcoholism swears to give up drinking and is successful for a few months; however, unless they come to a place in their mind where they truly believe that they can control their life and urge to drink and that they are not always destined to live a life of alcholism, many times it is only a matter of time before they find themselves all washed up again.

Why is this? Because LIFE CHANGE requires more than just a MENTAL DECISION it requires a CHANGE OF BELIEF.

This COMPLETELY applies to the journey that we are all on; ANYONE can make a MENTAL DECISION/UNDERSTAND that:

- Certain foods are unhealthy and cause weight gain.
- You plan/are going to exercise because that will help with weight loss.
- To not give into emotional eating or just the love of sweets/salty-goodness.
- That you are going to lose ____ amount of pounds.
- Etc. Etc. Etc. (Insert any other thing we've all "decided" along this journey).

But clearly, deciding these things/understanding them is NOT ENOUGH otherwise NO ONE would be obese or overweight- it takes something more than just understanding weight loss principles or even deciding with all of the determination in the world to do/not do something and truthfully (for LONG TERM success) it will even take more than just beginning to walk these principles/decisions out. Think about it- MOST people have enough determination and self-control to keep their "New Year's Resolutions" or goals for a few weeks, and if they are really strong-willed, maybe even a few months, but it takes something more to create LASTING CHANGE- and I believe that lies in the power of what we believe about ourselves.

I'm taking a moment (and I would challenge everyone to do the same) to evaluate what it is that I truly BELIEVE about myself in regards to this journey- in order to do that I think I need to answer questions like:

- Do I TRULY BELIEVE that I will no longer live the rest of my life being overweight or do I secretly believe that I may be able to keep this up for a while but that being overweight is how I will always life my life?
- Do I TRULY BELIEVE that being fit and athletic is possible for me? Or do I secretly believe I'm just saying it is?
- Do I TRULY BELIEVE that I am worth all of this effort?
- And most importantly: Do I TRULY BELIEVE that I am not the same person that I once was and that I am well on my way to becoming the person I desire to be.

How do I know this decision/understanding vs. belief thing is legit? Because there have been countless times that I've sat at a restaurant or at home late at night on my couch and when the thought of eating something that I know I shouldn't comes on my mind and I really start to rationalize whether I should eat it or not- there is always a lingering voice that says..."this really isn't going to matter, you know that sooner or later...you're going to give up or give in." No wonder that even if I say no that time, it really is only a matter of time before that very thing happens!

So what's the SOLUTION you ask? The only way that you or I are going to be truly successful for the long haul is to begin to change the way we believe about ourselves and this journey. Therefore, an even better questions becomes: How the heck do you do that? Well, I don't know completely, but here are some thoughts I am going to begin with EVERY morning and will keep in the front of my mind as I make decisions (and hopefully these thoughts will tranform into beliefs):

- I am the person that I want to become NOW- even while I'm still in an overweight place. People that have lost a significant amount of weight didn't just wake up one day and BAM! all of the weight was gone- NO- they saw each day/choice as representing a step that would take them closer to their goal. I need to believe that I won't just be that fit/conquering person what I've reached my goal, but that I am that person NOW- just in progress.

- I AM a person who has control over her life and over the food choices I make; I make healthy decisions because that is WHO I AM.

I am sure that I am nowhere near cracking the tip of the iceberg on this subject but I really feel like this is a key that will unlock many of the reasons that people fail when trying to lose weight.

What do you think? Can you identify with this at all on your journey?

Days #259 - #262: I Bit the Bullet...

2010-09-18T23:10:00.003-04:00

I took everyone's advice and went with the group to try on the bridesmaid dresses today. You all are seriously so smart and I'm glad you give such good advice because now looking back I would have totally regreted not going.

All in all, (thanks to a new pair of Spanx and the encouraging words of you all) it was a pretty fabulous time. Only 2 other bridesmaids (out of a total of 8) were there and it was pretty low-key. The dress is still a little short for my taste so I'm having an inch taken out of the hem but I can't lie- there was a point today as I was looking in the mirror that I began to feel very...proud of the work I've put in so far on this journey.

Wanna hear something AWESOME? When I first looked at the dress on the hanger I began to doubt if even the largest size they carried (a 26) would be big enough...I suddenly pictured myself having to come out of the dressing room and saying that not even the largest size would fit and then have to have the consultant tell me there were no bigger options and then the bride have to completely change her dress or something. Well, the 26 did fit; in fact, it was too big so I tried on the 24, and it was too big until finally I slipped into the perfect size 22! As I'm sure you can imagine, that felt great. The 22 is a little tight on me but I know that six months from now I will probably even need to go down a size (or two!).

It's so cool to be able to go into a store and not automatically have to try the biggest thing they have on there- I don't even know how long it's been since that has been the case but a long time. For sure, a size 22 is nothing to write home about but the fact that there are 2 sizes larger than that available just make me smile from ear to ear :) Not to mention, I bought a shirt today from LB in a size 14/16! Do you know how crazy that is!?!

It's just little things like these that are great motivators that push me to keep going!

For now, I can't wait until I go and pick up my dress in a month or so and be able to see how much better it fits :) I'm sure the picture below can show you some of the reasons I'm still not completely comfortable wearing something like this, but I will be!
Again- THANK YOU so much for your thoughtful, encouraging, and wise words of advice about this- it was your words that allowed me to come out of the dressing room with my head held high today :)

Day #258: My NEW Motivation!

2010-09-15T17:29:00.007-04:00

See that super cute couple up there? They happen to be 2 of my greatest friends and fellow staff members at my church and last weekend they asked me to be a bridesmaid in their upcoming wedding.

My immediate reaction can be described in 3 words: Excited. Honored. Scared.

Only a few months ago I wrote a post about how one of the many motivations I had for wanting to lose weight was because many of my good friends would be surely getting married soon and that I would never want any of them to even have to think for one second whether they would want me in their wedding or how having only 1 obese bridesmaid would ruin the pictures or about how they wouldn't be able to have the bridesmaid dresses they want because it wouldn't flatter my figure, etc. I see even as I write this how sad these statements are and I'm sure none of my friends would refrain from putting me in their wedding but I just hate that any of the above thoughts would even cross their minds- or more importantly- that they've crossed mine.

Well, needless to say I had figured that I wouldn't have to worry about this situation for at least a little bit but clearly, not the case because I'll be walking down the aisle as one of the 8 bridesmaids in this wedding on March 26th! I've got to say that I was completely STOKED when they first asked me because I've actually never been in a wedding before as a bridesmaid and I simply adore this couple; however, the fear/reality set in when I received an email just yesterday that this is the dress the bridesmaids will be wearing:

Egh.

I mean, it's not an ugly dress by any means but at this point I am in NO way comfortable wearing it. Why? Because my arms and legs are the things that I am the most self-conscious about. Truthfully, I don't hate that it's strapless, my arms look much better now than they did when I started this journey but my legs....uhhh...that's a different story. A much different story.

I have not worn shorts or anything above the knee in...well...10 years?

The GOOD news about this situation: The wedding isn't until March which means that I still have 7 months to continue to lose weight and get my body to a place that I feel a million times more comfortable wearing the dress. In fact, this is GREAT news for me because I can't even tell you how much of a motivator this is for me- I know this isn't my wedding and the spotlight is not going or supposed to be on me- BUT I want to look freaking smashing. Furthermore, I know that when we take the wedding party pics that I will be the heaviest girl (believe me, I know all of the other bridesmaids and I'm pretty sure 3 of them weigh under 125lbs and not a single one weighs above 155lbs but I am guessing that I will have lost at least 100lbs by that point and will be able to hold my head up high.

Ready for the BAD news: We are trying on the bridesmaid dresses this Saturday. Seriously, I feel panicked about this. Why? Well....

- I do not think I am going to be comfortable wearing this dress right now- like for real. I do NOT show my legs above/at my knees at all-ever! And I know that the bride is going to want to see me with it on. Eh.

- All of the bridesmaids that live in our area (like 4) are going to be their try try it on and I'm definitely NOT wanting to try it on in front of them.

So for real- I NEED YOUR ADVICE! I seriously don't know what to do! I've been kicking around several different ideas and all of them seem to have a little bit of good/bad idea-ness in them- I feel like I have the following options:

Option #1) Not go on Saturday when everyone else goes. Good Idea: I won't have to try it on in front of everyone. Bad Idea: The bride would probably be a little disappointed and I would miss out on the fun.

Option #2) Go and suck it up. Good Idea: It will be done and over with and the bride's feelings won't be burt. Bad Idea: Everyone will see me and I will feel mortified.

Ay. yay. yay. HELP! What should I do?

I know this may not seem like a big deal to anyone else and that I'm overreacting but everyone has that "thing" that they just feel super uncomfortable about and this is probably the first time I've felt pressured into bearing mine to the world (or at least my little world)! Can anyone else relate to this or have any advice for me?

Either way I know that the end result will be great because I will be wearing a dress in March that just seven months prior to I was feeling *this* horrible about- it will be a great moment- it's just a little...terrifying right now.

Days #251 - #257: Weighing In & Catching Up!

2010-09-15T12:58:00.005-04:00

Hellllllooooo!

Man I've missed you guys! This past week has been one of those crazy busy times where I was lucky to get 5 hours of sleep each night (and this girls needs at LEAST 7)!

But have no fear, I have been doing *fantastically* on all fronts (eating/exercise) and probably have 20 posts worth of stuff to share with you. Seriously- I don't even know where to start!

How about a WEIGH IN? And I am ELATED to announce that for the first time in forever (ok...I may be exaggerating a little) I am BACK to losing!!!

Previous Weigh In: 299lbs

Today's Weigh In: 296lbs

Which makes for a... 3lb loss! :)

Whew! Seriously, I since I hadn't posted a legitimate loss in more than a month I was almost starting to think I would never lose again- it's about breaking down the mental barrier, ya know? And perhaps even MORE exciting is that 296lbs is the lowest weight I can ever remember being in the last 6 years so when I lose even 1 more pound it will be completely NEW territory!

All in all, this brings me to a total weight loss of 56 pounds! Love it :)

And I think I must face the fact that I don't think it's a coincidence that the week that I actually begin to workout again and not just lose weight through nutritional eating alone is the week that I lose weight- ay yay yay. Looks like I will be continuing my gym routine faithfully!

Speaking of gym routine- last Saturday I was scheduled to go to the gym but when some unexpected meetings came up the gym had closed by the time I was free to go. Now, the old me would have just taken that as an opportunity to go home and sit on my bum but instead I asked myself the question that ALWAYS helps motivate me, keep me focused, and making the right decisions which is: "No one is going to make this [healthy] decision for me- I HAVE to make it myself."

Which lead me to getting out one of my old Leslie Sansone DVD's and kick butt with an 3 mile indoor walk! Before starting the DVD I was thinking that it was kind of a waste of time- how good of a workout can a person really get from an "indoor walking" dvd- well....

I got a workout to say the least :)

I have some really exciting (and a tad bit scary) news to share with everyone tomorrow- can't wait!

Days #246 - #250: Exciting Workout News!

2010-09-08T06:00:00.000-04:00

Mmmk I have SO much to tell ya'll! (BTW- Is anyone out there??? Did everyone quit reading on me??? :( Oh well, I know I have some loyal followers out there :)

Alright...where to start!?

So since really working hard to get back on track at the end of July I have basically only been focusing on eating right and not exercising at all. I had began to think that exercise really wasn't what I needed to put all my energy in right now and that because I have so much weight left to lose, I could put it off until I drop another 40lbs or so. Well, looking at my weight loss pattern from the last month and a half- clearly that theory wasn't working so well. And after realizing that I not only need to exercise to lose weight but that it really is a desire of mine to become physically fit, I decided to schedule a lunch with a friend of mine who also happens to be a personal trainer.

I can't lie, the situation was a little awkard since weight loss or exercise has never really been a topic in any of our discussions, but I've really been feeling like I've hit a wall with my fitness knowledge and ideas and need that extra "push." So- we met, we lunched, we chatted about weight loss and exercise, and we decided to make a workout date for that very evening!

I brought her to the local community center gym that I'm currently a member of (but that I will soon have to leave because of how far it is from where I live/work) and while we walked the indoor track she poured out countless pearls of wisdom (that I'm SO excited to share with ya'll throughout this week).

We've decided that because of time & money that neither of us can commit to meeting weekly but that she will instead be giving me gym "homework" and we have committed to at least meeting bi-weekly to evaluate my progress. I really do desire to be crazy fit and I'm willing to put in the work- I just need some guidance and accountability.

So here is my new workout regimin:

* Gym 3x's a week (Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays) w/ 30 minutes on the elliptical, 15 minutes on the upright bike, and 1 cycle through the circuit equipment (1x per week).

* Beach Castle Body Workout 2x's a week (Mondays & Fridays) at home.

Wondering what the Beach Castle Body Workout is? It's a quick, metabolism-boosting, workout that can be done anywhere that my personal trainer/friend made up that uses mostly your own body weight as resistance and literally takes all of 15 minutes! She does it every day and swears by it :) **This in NO WAY is meant to replace a cardio/strength training routine, but is simply good to supplement it. Interested in trying it out?

Beach Castle Body Workout:

15 shoulder rolls

15 Jumping Jacks

15 seconds of the plank

30 Bicycle crunches

15 Burpees

15 Skydivers

15 lunges (per side)

And there you have it friends! If you aren't sure what any of the above exercises are a quick google search will have the answer at your fingertips!

There have been times throughout my life that I will pretend that I don't want something that I actually really do want just so that no one will feel bad for me for not having it- and being fit is one of those things. I have pretended like I don't care that I can't run or don't have ripped arms or can't wear dresses, sleeveless shirts, or high heels but you know what? I DO CARE. A LOT.

LET IT BE KNOW: I, Tiffany, WANT TO BE RIPPED. I want to be SO super freaking fit. And I WILL GET THERE. I don't care if it takes me another 2 years- I will get there. One day at a time, one good choice at a time.

Mark my words.

How about you? :)

Days #244 & #245: Gulp (for freedom) :)

2010-09-03T10:07:00.003-04:00

I think I've changed.

When I first started out on this journey my focus was all about:
- Understanding what got me to the point I was at (weighing 352lbs)
- Learning how to eat in a healthy way.
- Changing my mindset about food.
- Proving to myself that I could do things I never thought possible- specifically in regards to exercise.

After losing 50lbs, entering a 3 month unplanned maintenance break, and now seeing that I only have 4 months to make my goal of losing 100lbs this year...

I now find myself constantly having my focus being:
- I've got to lose this weight so that I can make my goal.
- This isn't about anything lifelong- it's about now and December 31st.
- I really want this to just hurry up and be over so that I can live the life I want to (not meaning eat what I want to but be able to do the things that I can't do now (ex:wear dresses) that I want to do).
- Seeing the #'s go down on the scale every week.

And honestly, I find myself stressed out, worried, striving, and feeling like a failure almost every single day.

Where did this come from? This journey was never about being perfect or feeling WORSE about myself- shoot, especially after losing 50lbs!

I think it's time that I face a reality that I NEVER wanted to face and literally everything in me wants to rebel against this thought but unless I accept it I don't know if I'll ever really see the true meaning of success come to pass for me...

This whole thing really isn't about losing 100lbs in a year. Sure, that would be a really cool "fruit" of my hardwork and is A goal, but THE goal is to NOT BE OBESE anymore and honestly if it takes me 14, 16, 18 months to get there then so be it.

I am embracing where I'm at in this journey and am going to take the steps I need to in order to get where I want to go. Fear of not succeeding is no longer going to hold me back or stress me out because that is NOT what this is all about- it's about becoming the person that God created me to be and not settling for anything less.

Goals are good- they help keep me focused, on track, and always striving to better myself- but that's really all they are: aids in getting to the actual goal- don't let them become stumbling blocks on your journey.

Here's what I've got planned for September:
* Write down all food intake in my food journal.
* Don't go over my 1700 calorie limit.
* Workout 3x's per week.
* I'd like to see myself at 287lbs by the end of the month but if it doesn't happen- it's OKAY- as long as I know I'm giving my all, I can't expect anything more.

Treat yourself with love today :)

That's it- I'm keeping it simple for this month- just working on the basics.

Days #242 & #243: WI & Much Needed Encouragement :)

2010-09-01T18:04:00.002-04:00

Well, as expected (and talked about in my previous post) today's weigh in was pretty much what I expected:

Last Week's Weigh In: 298lbs
Weigh In's Throughout the week: Fluctuated around 300-301
Today's Weigh In: 299lbs

I swear, if it takes EVERYTHING I have (and it looks like it will), I will be below 298lbs next Wednesday!

I am thrilled to be seeing September! Not only because Fall is my FAVORITE season, but because I'm ready to say goodbye the slow weight loss that I saw this summer and hello to the kick-butt Tiffany I know I am and hopefully some really good weight loss numbers that will correspond.

Anyways, something pretty cool happened to me yesterday and I'm just delighted to share it all with you:

So I began the job that I am currently at at the beginning of April and probably haven't seen more than a 10lb weight loss since I've been there (corellation? haha) but needless to say, my co-workers really have no idea that I used to be 50lbs heavier than I currently am.

WELL...yesterday one of my co-workers stopped me and said that they had found (via facebook) the website for the outreach ministry I run and couldn't believe how different I look now from the pictures that are on the website.

Being that most days lately I struggle with even feeling like I've accomplished anything in regards to weight loss this was a nice pick me up and a reminder that I HAVE accomplished a lot. Sure, I'm not done- but I've certainly put a dent in it.

See ya'll tomorrow- gonna be sharing some new goals for the month of September :)

Days #237- #241: A Woman Scorned.

2010-08-30T10:31:00.003-04:00

I was ticked off all day yesterday.

Why? Because for the last 2 weeks my weight has remained exactly the same despite any changes that I've made in my eating- no matter what every time I stand on the scale it reads 298lbs which definitely frusterates me but hey- I'm level headed in knowing that at least I'm not gaining.

WELL- yesterday morning I stepped on the scale hoping to see a little piece of encouragement from my flawless eating from the day before and what did I see? 301!?!?! How the FRICK do I gain 3lbs when I've been trying harder in the last week then I have in the last 3 months of not gaining/losing anything!!?

Up until yesterday I had never been able to relate to bloggers who have written about being so emotionally thrown by the scale but boy did I feel it yesterday! I was SO mad when I saw that # yesterday- it's like the scale was telling me: "Nope, sorry- you're done losing weight- no matter how hard you try I'm not going to let you!"

And I fell face forward into the trap that SO many have talked about but I had never fallen into myself prior to yesterday- I ate out of anger for the lack of results.

I ate an okay breakfast and had lunch over at a friends but when I came home only a few hours later I ate perogies and a bowl of cereal just because I wanted to- then I had a large icee when i went to the movies and followed it up with a burger and fries for dinner! I was seriously SO mad that even though it doesn't make any sense I felt like I was somehow punishing "someone" and making "whoever" pay for makign me "suffer" in eating healthy and not getting results- all the while not being rational and realizing that the only person I am punishing when I do that is MYSELF.

Needless to say I woke up today with a "food hangover" of sorts and am needing to detox from the sugar, grease, and fat I ingested yesterday. I know all of the reasons that could explain WHY I gained those 3lbs (sodium, T.O.M., etc.) but it all just feels like a cop out to me. I think the most possible rational explanation is that I have hit some sort of plateu and since I'm not working out right now I can't get away with the amount of slack that I've given myself in the past with eating.

I KNOW WHAT I WANT and I will do WHATEVER it takes to ACHIEVE MY GOAL.

I know that this includes continuing to count all of my calories (which I've been doing recently), cut down on the carbs a bit, continue to drink water like I'm a fish (wait- do fish drink water? lol), and also begin to exercise again (this is going to take some more thought/discussion).

Ahhhh- I know this will be worth all of the frusteration and slip ups in the end- just gotta keep moving forward.

To end on a positive note- here is a pic I snapped of me wearing my new favorite shirt! It is originally from Lane Bryant (I saw it there but didn't get it because it was $40) but I picked it up at Gabriel Brothers last weekend for $8! The coolest part? It is an 18/20- I used to wear at least a 22/24 and sometimes a 26/28 in shirts there :)

Ahh- I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous for what Wednesday's weigh in will bring as far as the # on the scale, but I know ONE THING- I will keep on going 100% regardless of what it says!

Peace ya'll!

Day #236: What happened in Vegas is STAYING in Vegas!

2010-08-25T15:37:00.009-04:00

As I mentioned yesterday, I'm going to be spending the rest of this week reminding myself WHY; why it is that I am on this journey- some of the reasons are more serious than others but they are all reasons none the less.

In some of my earliest posts I shared more of the deeper reasons why being 352lbs was no longer an option for me but lately there have been a lot of new reasons that have served as sobering wake up calls and were the fuel to the fire that is lit up under my bum!

My Thursday reason for working to lose 100lbs this year...

At the beginning of last month my roomate's amazing boss suprised us both by sending us to Las Vegas for the weekend to attend a charity event for him that he couldn't make himself- yes, it's okay...be jealous! :)

I really didn't know much about we were going to be doing there or who all would be there but boy was I in for a suprise! Come to find out we were attending Garth Brook's charity gala weekend which is comprised (interestingly enough) of professional atheletes. Throughout the weekend we had a ton of fun- we got to walk the Strip, do some gambling, enjoyed a private concert by Garth himself!, shopping, and stayed at one of the best hotels in Vegas (The Wynn!) all for FREE! It was amazing!

Despite all of the fun, the 2nd night of the trip was...not so good. That evenig there was a cocktail event and dinner that we were expected to attend and as my roommate and I were getting ready in our hotel room for this elegant event I began to realize just how much my weight has effected my ability to get all dressed up and feel...well, sexy. I guess I've never realized this before because, well HELLO, it's not every day that I attend cocktail parties and "red carpet"ish events- and I have found a way to feel very comfortable (and attractive) in my normal every day life- but not this night. My roomate got all dressed up in this hot black dress and super cute heels while I wore black dress pants, a flowy blouse, flats, and a cardigan.

As we walked down the entrance to the grand ballroom and all of the professional athlete's trophy wives came into sight I suddenly felt like I wanted to crawl under a rock. I seriously was the ONLY girl there not wearing a dress and that weighed above 160lbs- seriously, I checked. As my roommate and I walked the room I felt like she was a celebrity and I was her manager or something- it was ridiculous because I NEVER feel like this in "real life." Again, I just wanted to run behind one of the long heavy curtains and stay there until the party was over- it was horrible.

Now, if you've read my blog for an extended period of time you would know that I generally do not struggle with my appearance or self-esteem; heck- that is the very reason it took me so long to even begin this journey- the way I look has never really been a huge issue for me. In fact, it often feels extremely foreign to me to hear other girls say that they are ugly or fat- but for the first time, I could completely identify with them that night in Vegas.

Now, the logical side of me is saying : "Tiffany, it's not about looks- it's about inner beauty, those girls didn't have anything on you...blah, blah, blah." And I FULLY believe and know that it is my character, integrity,and personality that make me- and I'm okay with that. HOWEVER, I don't like feeling like the scum of the earth simply because of my looks. That night I vowed to continue on this journey so that I would NEVER have to feel that way again.

Not sure exactly when/where, but when I have finally hit my goal weight I am going to buy a sleeveless dress, put on some heels, and go out into a similar type setting (all of which I NEVER do now) and enjoy feeling like everyone else.

So that is my reason for losing this weight today: I want to be able to go out in any social situation and not feel like the literal "elephant in the room." So in this case, what happened in Vegas will most definitely be STAYING in Vegas!

Check out some pics from our trip!

Garth's wife, Trisha Yearwood, singing at the charity concert!

The view of Garth from our front row table!

Our AMAZING hotel room!

The view of Vegas from our hotel room!

Anyone ever been in a similar situation with feeling like the ugly duckling in the room?

Well, NO MORE for me! :)

Days #230- #235: Delusional No More

2010-08-25T08:30:00.004-04:00

Today as I stepped on the scale for my weekly weigh in I was half expecting to lose 2-3lbs. Instead- what I saw was the same number I've been seeing for the last 2 weeks: 298.

Why was I expecting to lose 2-3lbs? Because I'm delusional.

No, really. I have NOT hit a plateu or anything like that- I'm simply under the belief somehow that I can eat really well most of the time and then have something completely packed with fat/calories at some point throughout the day and that I'll still lose weight- UM HELLO- delusional.

After seeing that same number (298) on the scale this morning I wanted to feel bad for myself but then when I took an inventory of what I ate even just yesterday for example, the reason why I'm still seeing that number became clear as day. This is how I ate yesterday (and how I've been eating- mind you this is all while I think I am "eating to lose weight"):

Breakfast: 6:20am

- Coffee (1 Tbl ff 1/2 n 1/2, 1 splenda, 1 Tbl ff creamer)

- Super small serving of Special K Vanilla Almond Cereal w/ Almond Milk

* The actual contents are not horrible but it is simply not enough food to start the day off with, again- it was because I was rushing out the door and didn't plan like I had just written about in the previous post- which is why....

Snack #1: 8:30am

- Honey Chex Mix (2 cups!)

*Again, not a horrible choice in and of itself- IF I had eaten the suggested serving size, but b/c I hadn't eaten a good breakfast I was hungry and it was all that was around.

Lunch: 12:30pm

- Quiznos small Mesquite Chicken sub (490 cals!)

- Quiznos small caesar Salad (535 cals!)

- Large Diet Coke

*WTF?!? Since when do SMALL salads have 535 friggin calories!? The reason I went to Quiznos instead of having the planned healthy smoothie? Because my co-worker had a coupon and since I still hadn't had anything truly substantial to eat- fruit was just not gonna do it for me. Again, breakfast seems to have just thrown it all off.

Dinner: 6:30pm

- Cup of baked ziti pasta

- 3 breadsticks

*We were serving food at a soup kitchen (or pasta kitchen-haha) yesterday to the community so I just had what was served and I'm okay with the pasta since the portion size was so small but the 3 breadsticks? Really? Truly, it was just mindless eating.

Snack: 7:30pm

- Starbucks Venti Blended Strawberry Lemonade (cals not listed on site since it's not on the regular menu)

* I just plain wanted this- I had a gift card and was craving something cold and tart.

Later Night Snack: 8:30pm

- Smart Ones Dessert (170 cals)

* Not a horrible dessert choice but I really didn't need it.

I don't know what makes me think that not sacrificing and disciplining myself will eventually lead to weight loss- for me, it only leads to maintenance. I guess I'm glad that I at least know that when I have hit goal weight that I'll know how to maintain but at 298lbs, that is NOT what I'm trying to do right now!

I know some may not agree with me but here's MY truth for the next 5 months: With EVERYTHING that goes into my mouth ask myself: Is this choice getting me closer to or farther away from where I want to be? There will be NO MORE "cheats" or "treats;" this doesn't mean I will never have something that is sweet but if I do it will be calculated in and planned for.

The hard truth is the remaining 46 lbs that I have to lose are going to take EVERY ounce of effort that I have and I plan to GIVE it!

For the rest of the week I'm going to be spending time reminding myself WHY I want to lose this weight and what I will be gaining from it- for me, I've got to keep the prize in mind in order to do this and I think that is exactly what I need right now.

I finally made it back to the gym last week and had a blast doing 30 minutes on the elliptical- here's the proof :)

Day #229: Planning for the Unplanned.

2010-08-19T10:00:00.005-04:00

Mornin'!

I've noticed it's the little things in this journey that can so easily trip us up- whether it be a candy jar at the front desk in our office that just keeps calling our name or an "accidental-circumstance" where we find ourselves with a lack of nutritious things to eat in our refridgerators when we are super hungry- we can have all the good intentions in the world but if we don't learn how to navigate through the "little slip up" spots that continually show up in our lives- we will never be successful.

My morning today was a perfect example of this:

At home I always have an abundance of breakfast options to choose from; in fact, I make sure that I do- so if you were to look through my cabinets and fridge you would see my favorite healthy breakfast items: special k vanilla almond cereal with unsweetened vanilla almond milk, stuff to make an egg white breakfast wrap with, and for a special treat- cinnamon crumpets with reduced fat butter. And if my life were to go perfectly the way I plan it to go, I would be able to sit down at my cute little breakfast nook and enjoy my delicious breakfast and coffee while staring out the window.

*Ring* *Ring*- it's reality calling- in the past month that has happened all of maybe...3 times? While it's all good then I am prepared with these healthy items, the fact of the matter is, no matter how hard I try, it's just not realistic for me to get up any earlier than I already am- I have to leave the house every day at 6:30am and I'm lucky to pull myself out of bed any earlier than 5:45 since I'm fighting to get at least 6 1/2 hours of sleep most nights.

So- what's a girl to do?!?!? PLAN for the UNPLANNED. If we simply allow ourselves to only be successful on this journey when everything in our life goes as planned, we are most likely not going to be successful because if your life is anything like mine, nothing every goes as planned!

So here's how it's BEEN going down for me with breakfast almost every day: I make my coffee (1 tablespoon fat free 1/2 n' 1/2 + 1 tablespoon fat free vanilla creamer + 1 splenda) and then either grab a luna bar or fiber one bar and have that for breakfast around 6:30 am, then (you guessed it) come 9:30-10:00 I'm hungry again and I end up doing something really stupid and walking to Breugger's bagels and grabbing a breakfast wrap that I eat stupidly before I had the chance to look up the nutritional info online to see that it had 690 calories!!?!?! Well, that is just not acceptable!

Here's what I'll be doing from here on out:

- Seriously try my hardest to wake up earlier, but if all else fails and I do have even just a quick second I'm gonna whip up something that I can take with me in the car- I cannot wait to try one of these "egg mug" recipes from Hungry girl! Has anyone ever tried making these?

- Research and find some healthy breakfast options that I like and that are convenient for me get where I work- I can promise you, had I known that wrap was 690 calories I wouldn't have eaten it- but that's what you get for eating without doing the research!

Here are a few healthy fast food breakfast options I've found already:

*BRUEGGER'S BAGELS: Egg white and cheese everything bagel (380 cals)

*SUBWAY: Western Egg Sandwhich (285 cals)

*STARBUCKS: Spinach, Roasted Tomato, Egg Wrap (240 cals) I've actually had this before and it was pretty delicious- kind of tasted like pizza!

So there you have it- my plan for the unplanned (and ever increasing) moments of life!

Anyone have any on-the-go breakfast suggestions to share?

Day #222- #228: Learning to Celebrate! :)

2010-08-17T16:17:00.011-04:00

Morning ya'll!

Today was weigh in day and the result was: no loss, no gain. No worries though- this has just fueled my fire to see a loss next week. I have finally come to a place where I am not worried when I don't see the kind of results I'd like to see because I know that I WILL get to my goal and live the life I want. I don't have any doubts any more.

There are; however, days when I feel as though because of the pause in my progress that I've never even made any- as if the 54 pounds I've lost don't matter. Well, I'm reminding myself that that is a lie by sharing some pics! I'm still 6 pounds away from my next progress picture but this past weekend while perusing through some old pics with my roomie I was reminded of just how far I've come when I found some pics of me 50 pounds ago and compared them with some pics that were taken this weekend. This is my way of learning to celebrate the changes I've made even though I've not arrived at where I'm going just yet :)

Example #1: The pic on the left is probably the catalyst that made me change my ways- this picture was taken for the staff pictures on my church's website and everytime I look at it I just get sad; it represents being trapped in a prison to me. The pic on the right was also a staff picture for our church (taken for another reason) just 2 weeks ago- I was happy to not cringe when I saw it this time around! By the way- when I lose 100lbs, I'm going to make them put a new pic up on the website :)

Example #2 : The pic on the left is also one of the few "wake up call" pictures I have- again, the thought that comes to mind is the word "trapped;" I was trapped inside that body. The pic on the right is one that I'm still not completely happy with- the word that comes to mind when I see this one is "in progress"- I'm by no means finished, but progress is being made.

It is still pretty difficult for me to even picture what I will look like when I hit my 2010 goal of weighing 252 (a 100lb loss) and even more incomprehinsible what I will look like when I hit more overall goal of weighing 175lbs (a 177lb loss) because I don't remember even what age I was when I weighed 250...or 175- I was certainly not an adult. I feel like I'm unwrapping some sort of present!

Alright- I'm going to peace out for now, I'm really excited about tomorrow's post though...and you should be too! :)

Take steps forward today!

Day #221: Wednesdays are for Weigh Ins- Super Special Edition! :)

2010-08-11T08:51:00.003-04:00

Morning darlings!

Thanks for all of your encouraging words on yesterday's post- I really needed to hear that other people believe I can achieve my goal and not just me :) So basically... you rock!

I used to do my weekly weigh ins on Sundays (but mostly because that was when a group that I was doing my Biggest Loser competition was having their weigh ins) but I've now decided to weigh-in on Wednesdays! And because today just so happens to be Wednesday... it's time for a weigh in!

It has been a long time since I've posted a weigh in on here and I'm happy to annouce that I'm down 2lbs and even more ELATED to announce that I have officially broken the 300lb mark and have a 2 in front of my weight!!

Previous Weight: 300lbs
Current Weight: 298lbs

I honestly do not remember the last time I looked at the scale and was under 300lbs in the last...7-8ish years? So today is a good day :)

And if my math is correct, I will need to lose an avg of 10 pounds per month in order to make my goal of losing 100lbs in a year- it's going to be tough but I KNOW that I can and WILL do it!

How is everyone else doing on their 2010 goals?

Have a great wednesday ya'll! Today, this girl is all SMILES :)

Day #220: Where I find Myself.

2010-08-10T07:19:00.003-04:00

Morning!

Yesterday (as I mentioned in my little "Hi" post), I spent a bit of time checking in on some of the bloggers that I've truly connected with since beginning this blog. It had honestly been about 2 months since I had really gotten to just sit down and read and I can't tell you how BLOWN away I was to come back to these blogs and see how much progress some of you have made! Perhaps most noteworthy- Julia , who since beginning her weight loss journey (which I believe was about the same time I did...so about 9 months ago) has lost over 100lbs! W.O.W. Needless to say, you all have someone applauding you all in your corner because the fact is- you are still here and still losing- and that IS what this is all about.

So...where am I in all of this? That is the question that I feel like I can't move on in this blog or my journey at all really without answering. I am compelled to analyze where I am in my journey and decide if I've failed or succeeded- those are really the only 2 options that I feel like I have. The truth of the matter is that for the past 3 months I've really just been maintaining my weight loss- I have exercised less than a handful of times, eaten carelessly many handfuls more, and tried to almost forget the journey I've been on since last November- and to me that would mean all signs point in the direction of...failure.

But here's MY reality- I have lost 50lbs and am HALFWAY to my goal of losing 100lbs this year. I have NOT FAILED because it is not December 31st yet and this is NOT over. Sure, I may have had 3 months of not doing my best- but I didn't gain back all of my weight- and for some reason, I feel as though I have.

But at this point I realize I have 2 options to choose from:

#1: I can feel bad that I have wasted these past 3 months of just maintaining and not losing any weight. Compare myself to others and their weight loss and feel bad about myself. Listen to the voice in my head saying I can't do this, and basically allow all of that negativity to make me just...stop. And then come January 2011 I would be finding myself making the same resolution again and probably close to being back at my starting weight.

OR

#2: I can accept that I didn't lose any weight in the last 3 months and let it serve as a sober reminder to me that just because I've lost 50lbs does not mean that I'm a shoe-in for losing the next 50 and that my whole self isn't magically rewired into being a health food eating exercising robot, I'm human and I've got choices to make. I can work my BUTT off these next 5 months and prove to myself that I CAN do this and live the life that I deserve to have. I will move forward accepting that I'm human and remembering that my goal in this journey is not perfection but perserverance.

There is 145 days left in this year and I intend to make every one of them a day that get's me closer to my goal- EVERY STEP- a one forward!

Whew! Alright- that was Tiffany's motivational speech for the day :)

Real quick before I go- I have hit the jackpot! No- not in money...but in another kind of green- SALAD!! Now I know that to some salad may be a 4 letter word but I really love it but because I am a freak about the taste of certain salad dressings and the cleanliness of produce that I don't wash myself I rarely get salads on the go which is stinky because I eat on the go A LOT.

Well, problem solved thanks to Breugger's Bagels! Not sure where they are located throughout the country but they have an option to build you own salad that I'm just crazy about. All of the ingredients are super fresh and are not just your typical salad bar ingredients- they whip it all up in a big bowl right in front of you (not just grab a pre-packaged one of out a refridgerator in "the back") and it is the right size and everything! Sure, you have to be careful what toppings you put on it and how much dressing you ask for but just like in any situation- there's always that choice to be made.

Wanna see my yummy creation? Or at least what was left over of it after I scarfed it down in the car :) (I know, I know...dangerous! lol)

I put tomatoes, asiago cheese, red onion, and 1 scoop (possibly 1 and 1/2 table spoons) of caesar dressing in mine. Personally, I would rather have my salad be a little dry with really yummy dressing than a lot of yucky light dressing. Just my opinion :)

Alright friends- make today one you are proud of!

Days #206 - #219: Hi!

2010-08-09T15:55:00.002-04:00

Good Afternoon,

Just wanted to pop in quickly and say hello! I'm actually going to spend some time catching up with all of my favorite bloggers right now (which I am SUPER excited about) but wanted to at least pop and in and say hi :)

You'll be hearing from me tomorrow!

Days #176- #205: Choices and Fate.

2010-07-25T20:51:00.004-04:00

Happy Sunday!

It really has been a great weekend- my life is usually so busy and hectic and for the first time in quite a while I enjoyed a nice leisurely weekend- the pic above is from our housewarming party on Friday night with my roomie, friend, and her amazingly cute son :)

Weighed in today: 301 so technically +1lb. This will be the week that I break 300 :)

And now for some thoughts I just can't get off my mind:

Sometimes I think we allow our past experiences to become some sort of "proof" that our future HAS to look a certain way instead of just allowing them to be what they are...past experiences.

I think being overweight all of my life has caused me to stop dreaming. And worse- I have never really cared.

Because I've been overweight my whole life doing things like running a marathon, wearing a short/cute dress, or feeling comfortable in a swim suit have just never felt like options for me. I've pretty much been okay with just reserving that those things are for other people and not for me- as if it is some act or decision of fate that I just didn't get picked to enjoy those things.

But that is just not true.

For whatever reason, I need to constantly remind myself that my future (specifically in regards to my weight and health) IS in MY hands and that I CAN control it. I am not just destined to always be overweight (or obese) simply because I always have been- I get to choose!

Everything in life really comes down to choices and perhaps the reason that many of us would not like to believe that or simply act as if it isn't true is because if we admitted it's truth we would be admitting that it is our own fault that we find ourselves in the state we do. And we don't like to be wrong...or guilty.

I have evaluated what it is that I want in life and it's:

- To be healthy.

- To live a full and long life.

- To have a family.

- To enjoy my life.

- To live life without limits.

And being overweight doesn't go along with any of those.

I am choosing to live a healthy life and to prove to myself that I CAN do this and that I am not destined to be anything other than what I choose to be.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings :)

A Video Hello :)

2010-07-19T18:00:00.003-04:00

Day #174 & #175: Rollin', Rollin'!

2010-06-25T06:00:00.000-04:00

Hi gang!

Man, am I glad that it is Friday! Lately, I've just been living for the weekends and since

this happens to be a 3 day weekend, I'm even happier :)

In a few weeks my team and I (who organize community events) are putting on a Family Bike Ride in our community and I am pretty pumped! It will basically just be an opportunity for parents and their kids to get outside, exercise, and enjoy the great city of Pittsburgh!

I can't lie, lately I've been feeling like I need something a little more than just an elliptical machine to get me motivated; I want to be passionate about living a healthy lifestyle and for me I think that might entail some sort of activity that I can get involved with...like biking!

Pittsburgh has SO many amazing bike trails (think street biking, not mountain biking) and it's a good way to be outside (which I'm loving more and more); sure, I couldn't really do this in the winter, but it's a fine way for me to soak up the sun right now.

Sunday evening, a friend and I went out to ride the trail that we will be doing the day of the bikeride to make sure it was doable for kids and it was a ton of fun, well...besides the fact that I was riding a borrowed granny bike with no gears- but it's all good. Check me out!

We rode around for an hour and it really was a fantastic time. I'm thinking that if I happen to win this round of The Biggest Loser Challenge that I might just have to mosey on over to Wal Mart and pick me up a cheap, but decent bike.

Anyone else love them a nice bike ride?

Days #162 - #173: Dear Me,

2010-06-21T16:03:00.004-04:00

Dear Self,

You are almost halfway through this journey of losing 100lbs in a year and you have made some truly great progress thus far...

You have:

- Lost 50lbs

- Overcome your fear of going to the gym

- Learned what it means to eat in a balanced and healthy way

- Proven to yourself that you CAN lose weight

- Figured out some of the things that trigger you into eating unnecessarily

- Worked yourself into doing 30 minutes on the elliptical

- Made some great bloggy friends

Those are things to be celebrated and proud of, you are well on your way to living the life that you deserve and taking control of the things that were manipulated by situations and other people in the past.

However, the truth of the matter is: you aren't giving this your all.

I know that because you are more comfortable with yourself now and have proven that you can lose weight that the need to do it doesn't feel as immediate but the truth is- YOU ARE STILL ALMOST 300LBS and THAT is NOT what you deserve or want!

You deserve more than to be a victim to circumstances or habit, you deserve to live the healthiest life possible, and you deserve to have all your dreams and desires not hindered because of this stupid thing.

You know your own strength, you know your destiny, and you KNOW that God will be with you every step of the way to help make this a reality- DON'T SELL YOURSELF SHORT!

YOU CAN DO THIS! You HAVE done it already!

Be fabulous, strong, and healthy- LIVE the life that YOU desire!

As this second half of the journey approaches, I challenge you to give this E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. you have- which looks something like:

- Eating food that is healthy and fuels your body in a way that you will be happy with the physical results of your choices.

- Not depriving yourself of something that you really want but eating in in proper proportion and in balance of what else you have eaten that day.

- Push my body to do things I don't currently believe it can with exercise!

- Not be negatively influenced to eat things I have not planned on eating (or know is healthy) just because: I'm eating out, it's the weekend, or someone is offering it to me.

Tiffany, you KNOW who you are and you KNOW that you have a STRONG support system. And the fact of the matter is that no one can make this decision for you but yourself, you cannot simply wait around for it to happen or wish that it would- you have GOT to MAKE it happen.

And you will.

Love,

You

p.s. Keep a sweaty smile upon your face :)

Days #160 & #161: R-r-r-random.

2010-06-11T08:56:00.005-04:00

Morning friends!

It's Friday!!! Can I get a whoo hoo?!? WHOO HOO!!!

I feel the need to just share a bunch of randomness today- heck it's almost the weekend and my mind is nowhere near being able to focus on anything! So here goes nothing :)

Yesterday I got a pretty sweet workout in- my usual 30 minutes on the elliptical followed by 15 on the upright bike, sooner or later I'll kick it up and change it up but for right now this is what is realistic for me and I can't lie- I still thoroughly enjoy it! Check out the sweat :)

So....I have new OBSESSION- wanna know what it is???

It's GLEE! I seriously love this show and just cannot get enough! The writing is witty, the characters and hilarious, and best of all- they are actually all talented! Anyone else share this newfound love of mine? I would marry Finn, no lie. :)

Continuing on this train of randomness, does anyone have any REALLLLY good recipes for the crockpot? I just got a new one and I'd really like to try it out and before I head to the library to check out a cookbook I figured I'd check in with a more reliable and fun panel, you! Suggestions?

Alright, I'm peacing out now but I would just like to share that I will have a very special treat for you all on my blog this weekend- it's a Tiffany first ;)

Have a GREAT weekend friends, make good choices!

Days #146 - #159: An Update :)

2010-06-09T08:18:00.003-04:00

Well... hello :)

It's been exactly 2 weeks since my last post- I got a few comments wondering where I was and wanting to make sure that I am okay (which was SUPER sweet) and allow me to put your mind's at ease- all is well with Miss Tiff! See...

Between my best friend coming to visit from Florida for a whole week (which also meant a week's vacation off from work! whoo hoo!) and the launch of our church, it just wasn't the right time. There used to be times where I would feel SO guilty and like I was failing in my weight loss efforts if I couldn't blog (and read blogs) every single day; like seriously- really guilty. But that ideaology began to make things feel like a chore, which is obviously not the purpose. This blog is for me, for my growth, evaluation, and enjoyment and the moment that it becomes anything but is the moment I need to take some time away, which is what I did :)

But miss you all, I did! This network is such a blessing- truly. And I'm more excited than ever to share with you all that as of this morning, I have hit a major mile stone...I have broken the 300lb barrier and now weigh 298lbs!!!!!

I can honestly say that I don't really remember the last time (since being maybe....16 or 17) weighing under 300lbs; it was like I remember the dreadful day that I saw 300 on the scale and then I've just always fluctuated between 300-352 for the last 7ish years. But not anymore!!!! :) I know that 298lbs is by NO means a heatlhy or normal weight, but I almost feel like I've taken one step closer to joining the ever exclusive club of the "normal" by having a #2 in front of my weight-one last time WHOO HOO! :)

This means that I have lost a total of 54lbs in about 6 months and only have 46lbs to go to make my goal of losing 100lbs by November 8, 2010!

I'm still grooving w/ replacing 1 meal a day with a fruit smoothie (see last post) and have been reevaluating a lot of my goals and motives, which I'm sure will be shared with you all sooner or later, but right now I'm just happy to be back in the swing of blogging as well as NOT weighing 300 anything :)

Peace and Love to you guys- I'm looking forward to catching up on all of your blogs and hearing about your progress as well!

Days #141 - #145: I'm SMOOTH (IE)!

2010-05-25T07:52:00.003-04:00

Heyyyy!

Wow- what a crazy weekend! Here in PA we had some sort of major terrential downpour on Saturday, which was unfortunate being that the community service day that I had been working on coordinating for months was on Saturday...yea- I was pushed to my limits of flexibility- which I'm sure most of you can guess due to my perfectionistic anal retentive planning tendencies, didn't make for the most enjoyable of days lol! Ahhh oh well, such is life.

Well I am officially back into the swing of things- Sunday's weigh in had me 3lbs down and I'm hoping for at least 3lbs more off by the end of the week- I need to hit 50lbs lost and soon...as of this morning I've lost 45lbs and while I know that 45lbs is good- I just keep feeling like it's not where I should be right now- oh well- I'm not going to allow my frusterations with how slowly things have gone lately, I'm going to focus on the amount of time I have left in the year to reach my goal- 7 months to be exact :) 55 lbs in 7 months- I can do that!

I'm excited to share that I'm trying something new!

Since beginning this journey in November I have been following the same pattern of food preparation- I make a large amount of food on Monday evening after work and then divide it up into 4 equal portions so that I can bring healthy, semi-fresh lol food to work everyday. You see, I have to leave the house everyday at 6:15am and I have absolutely no time to spare to whip up some delicious salad, and so far it's worked pretty well- it's been tedious, repetative, and a bit annoying to eat the same thing every day but as I've been saying quite a lot recently... "You do what ya gotta do" and so that's what I've been doing.

But lately it's just been too much for me- I've been leaving the house at 6:20am and not getting back till 10:30pm so I've been trying to get creative with what has become a more than tedious task in this lunch making. The answer to all of my problems?

What is it? A GNC Total Lean Meal Replacement Shake

Now I don't know about you, but because my approach to healthy living from the beginning has been based upon the principle of eating good natural foods in smart proportions, I've kind of had an upturned nose at my coworkers as they all seemed to buy into these shakes recently...thinking that because they were using anything powdered that it wasn't natural and that it was automatically "fadish" and sure to fail. And then after my coworker made me a small glass of one and it tasted phenomenal, I decided to take a little walk over to the GNC store where I spoke with the store manager and expressed my concerns about drinking something like this and how it could effect my long-term weight loss and whether it was his good salesmanship, the truth, or the fact that he was a McGregor look alike, I walked out of the store with 2 tubs! lol

After giving it some more thought I realized that my prejudiced against all things that were not "whole foods" was really a bit misguided and misinformed, I realized that this very well could be the answer to my not having time to prepare my lunches! And for the past 2 days I have joined the rest of my coworkers in going into the lunch room at 12:30, gathering our fruit and blenders, and smoothie-ing it up!

Most of my coworkers are doing what the GNC lean plan suggests and replacing 2 meals a day with the smoothies, but that is just not realistic for me; my goal is long term weight loss and there's no way that I'll be replacing 2 meals a day with smoothies forever. So right now, my plan is to do 1 smoothie a day (for either breakfast or lunch)- not b/c I have been unhappy with my weight loss results, but because of the time factor.

Now the possibilities for smoothie types are obviously endless, but here's my current favorite recipe for deliciousness (including calorie counts):

Tiffany's Amaaaazing Smoothie (16oz):

-1 cup ice (0 cals)

- GNC Total Lean Shake Powder Vanilla Bean flavored 1.5 scoops (135 cals)

- Tropicana 50% less cals/sugar orange juice (12oz) (75 cals)

- Mixed frozen fruit (70 cals)

- 1 whole banana (100 cals)

Total: 380 cals!

And I wish I could send you each a little sample of how freaking delicious it is but alas, that won't be happening :)

I can't even say how convenient this has been for me thus far- I just bring a bag of mixed fruit, carton of OJ, and a bunch of banas to work, keep my tub of powder mix here, and badda bing- lunch is served!

Has anyone else tried these shakes or experienced similar frusterations/difficulties with preparing lunches?

Have a fantastic Tuesday ya'll! I'll be thinking of you when I'm enjoying my smoothie lunch today ; )

Day's #135 - #140: I'm ALIVE and FIGHTING!

2010-05-20T07:21:00.003-04:00

Guess what? I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth- I'm here, alive and well- although my lack of blogging activity may have suggested otherwise.

I've actually had PLENTY that I couldn't wait to share with you this week and I've gotten half way through a post at least 3 times this week but this week has been super busy...let's just say my eye started twitching yesterday so I'm taking that as a sign it's time to slow down a bit- more on that another time.

Alright- the one thing that I value so much about blogging (and you all) is that this is the only place I feel I'm held accountable for my choices in regards to healthy living; for whatever reason you all understand not only how I feel and why I got the way that I did but you also understand my potential, which is why it is sometimes hard to share when I go through a time that was disappointing.

And in the name of honesty and accountability I have to share this weird time that was the last 3 weeks; I don't expect anyone to understand, and I especially don't expect to hear any sort of sympathy... I'm an odd creature, my perfectionistic mind works in strange ways, but I do feel guilty for not being completely honest here on my blog; so here's what's been going on:

As I've mentioned in previous posts, fasting (abstaining from food for a short/long period of time), is something that I participate in either alone or with a group of fellow believers at times, it is not something I do every month, in fact I've gone years without doing it but on May 26th I embarked with some friends on a 21 day (3 week) fast which was centered around praying for our city; the longest before this that I had ever fasted was 7 days and I remember that being a doozy so you can imagine how intimidated I was about this, and there were many times before the fast started that I almost didn't do it just because I knew that it would affect my ability to work out and I didn't want to lose the endurance that I had built up...but I felt that this was a sacrifice that I needed to make.

Basically, here's how it shook down: Pre-fasting weight: 305

Week 1- Didn't eat

Week 2- Didn't eat

Week 3- Ate whatever the heck I wanted.

Now tell me that isn't just a bunch of crazy?

Most people didn't last the 2 weeks and it's always up to you to decide how long you want to participate (as well in the way you'd like to) but I think since I had set it in my mind that I wouldn't be working out for 3 weeks that once I decided to stop fasting after the 2nd week it made perfect sense to me that I had a "free week" of eating whatever the heck I wanted.

I know the whole concept of not eating for 2 weeks sounds like a case of anorexia and binging but that's not what it was about at all and there's no need for me to apologize for it- some great things were accomplished during that time and I wouldn't take it back for a second but let me tell you what- I learned A LOT that dreadful third week....and not to sound overly dramatic but it may have been my saving grace on this journey.

I wasn't obviously counting the weight that I was losing during the first 2 weeks as real weight lost because I knew it would be coming right back as soon as I ate something, but it was kind of fun to see what I will look like and how I will feel when I eventually do get under 300lbs, but during that third week I had not only gained back the 9lbs I had lost during the 2 week's of fasting but an additional 6lbs from where I even started, and let me tell you...I could FEEL it.

I know that 311lbs is in reality 41lbs smaller than where I started this journey but I felt like I was 352lbs again- seriously!

During that 3rd week, there were things that happened that literally made me disgusted with myself:

- I could feel the extra weight as I walked.

- When walking up a small hill I got winded.

- I was EXHAUSTED all of the time.

I had a brief glimpse of what my life was like when I weighed 352lbs and I believe that I had honestly forgotten just how badly I need to lose weight...and how quickly everything that I've worked for could be gone.

On Monday, I woke up and weighed in at 311lbs- I just wanted to cry... my goal for the end of May was to be at 290 and now I'd be luck to be where I was before I started the fast by the end of the month- 305. But let me tell you this- a fire is burning under my butt that is SO hott I am more motivated than EVER to achieve my goal this year of losing 100lbs.

Today (Thursday) I weighed in at 308, so a 3lb loss since Monday and it's because I have been filling my body with nutritious food and being active.

There's so much more that I want to say but I know this is getting long so I'll share the rest tomorrow, but I just want to say THANK YOU all for being here with me through this journey, I believe that even though the past 3 weeks have not left me at a place numerically where I'd like to be, they have provided me with a wake-up call that I needed. I WILL lose 100lbs this year, I will, I will, I will.

In fact, last night my roomate and I went to Breuster's Ice Cream (yum!) and I didn't even get a single thing becasue I'm determined and dedicated to end the month of May having given my VERY best during these last 2 weeks- not just having stupid treats because they are there.

I leave you all with saying that after 2 weeks of eating nothing at all and 1 week of eating nothing but absolute crap, I began this week feeling uber THANKFUL that I have the choice as to what I can eat, that I GET to fuel my body with good food- not that I HAVE to. It's a privilege that we get to choose what we eat, let's be grateful.

And b/c I have a hard time not including some picture in my posts...this is me and my friends at a kid's festival this weekend, with Timmy the Termite :)

Peace and Love Ya'll :)

Day #131, #132, #133, & #134: Parting is such sweet sorrow???

2010-05-13T21:45:00.002-04:00

Hi friends :)

Thx so much for all of your SUUUUUUPER sweet words on my last post- totally not necessary- but OH SO nice ;)

Not a whole lot of updates from me...when you're fasting (and therefore not exercising) there isn't a whole lot to talk about on the health/fitness front.

I do have one piece of exciting news...I signed a lease on a new apartment this week! I've never really lived in a place (as an adult) that I've really felt was my own; I lived in a dorm all through college and then for the last year I've lived with 3 other roomies in a house that 2 of them had been living in for the last 6 years or s0- but coming in July I will be moving into a super cute apartment with one of my best friends and I just couldn't be more excited! I've already been thinking about the color that I want to paint the walls and looking for furniture on Craigslist has become my newest addiction- no, seriously. lol.

And while I can't wait to move into a new enviorment and just begin a new phase of life- this move does present one little problem: I don't know if I'll be able to go to my gym anymore!!!

:(

Here's the stitch: The gym that I attend now (and LOVE oh so dearly) is literally less than 5 minutes from my house, BUT the new place I'm moving to is about 20ish minutes from my house and since I always go to the gym right after work (aka-RUSH HOUR), it would take me close to AN HOUR to get to work and then about a 30 minute drive home afterward.

So you see my dilema right? Do I deal with the extra driving to go to a gym that I'm comfortable with, have already paid for the entire year for, and just stinking love or do I start a new gym membership that I gym that I could love but could also hate in order to save time?

Um...HELP!

Day #128, #129, & #130: Picture Fun & a Fast Begins!

2010-05-10T12:25:00.005-04:00

Happy Monday Er'body!

How was everyone's weekend? Mine was pretty great actually; I spent it hanging out with friends, looking at apartments, and watching my new favorite show...GLEE! Anybody else have a Glee addiction? :)

I realized today that it's been a while since I posted an oh-so glamorous Tiff pic so I figured...why not snap a quick one before heading off to work...and even better it's a "BEFORE and AFTER" of sorts! :) Ready???

This was me in December/January-ish. I actually remember looking at this pic and thinking, "Holy Smokes, I'm lookin good!"

And here's a pic of me from this morning!

Maybe not a HUGE difference, but I can kind of see it in my face a bit! :)

Furthermore...yesterday was weigh in day and I came in at a solid 300 (no loss/no gain)- but I'm seriously ok with that-wanna know why? Well because today marks the beginning of a weeklong fast that I'm doing with my church (meaning water, juice, and coffee only) and I know that I'll probably drop 10lbs this week and then shoot back up the following week- I want to get under 300lbs by my own blood, sweat, and tears- not because of the fast. I'll still share what my weigh in is but I'm not going to count the next 2 weeks as realistic weigh-ins.

Alright, time to get back to work- here's to a great week (and LOTS of juice :)

Day #126 & #127: What up Doc?

2010-05-07T08:25:00.003-04:00

I haven't been to the doctor in 5 years.

The reason for this is partly because I rarely get sick and also because in the few times that I have been ill, I haven't had health insurance and therefore didn't want to pay the insane costs of uninsured doctor's visits.

Since beginning my new job, I've acquired health insurance so when I started getting what I thought might be a case of strep throat, I decided to make an appointment. In the end, everything went great- my doctor is seriously so nice and caring, the office was efficient, and my sore throat was only a viral issue.

As I was waiting in the waiting room yesterday, I remember that soon enough the nurse would be leading me back to the examination room, but first we would be making that time honored stop at the scale.

Since this was my first visit to this doctor's office I was guessing that they would probably be thinking...we need to talk to this girl about her weight, so instead of waiting on that awkward conversation, as I stepped on the scale (which by the way didn't bring me even one ounce of dread or even discomfort), I proudly stated, "Oh, I should probably mention that I've recently lost around 50lbs..." to which lead to the nurse smiled, congratulated me, and then asked how I've done it.

Later on, the doctor asked me the same thing and I just replied, "Honestly, diet and exercise- I've been eating smarter and excercising more- there really hasn't been much more to it than that."

The one thing my doctor did tell me is that eventually I will hit a weight loss plateu and to not be discouraged- I asked him if when that happens I should increase my activity and decrease my calories, but he said no- to just keep moving foward and that eventually...after about a month, things should start going back in motion and that if they didn't then I might want to consider changing things.

In general I can't tell you how good it felt to not be having to walk out of the Dr.'s office vowing that I would lose weight before my next appointment (or this year), but that I could walk out knowing that I'm already halfway to a major goal of losing 100lbs in a year and that I'm doing what I need to do to live a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life.

So...wanna know what my weight was at the Dr.'s????

300lbs!!! That means I'm 52lbs down now!!!

I had the biggest smile on my face yesterday and even now as I write this because that will be the LAST time that I ever weigh 300lbs again :)

Day #124 & #125: I'm Not Who I Was!

2010-05-04T21:20:00.003-04:00

I've noticed that the longer I've been continuing on this journey, the less "exciting" everything feels...why?

Well:
- Most of the drastic (and exciting) life changes that need to be made have pretty much already occured.
- The thrill of trying new foods has turned into a bit of a monotonous menu.
- A bit of weight has been lost and the things that used to be super horrible about your weight/health/energy/confidence, etc. aren't nearly AS bad.

Can anyone else identify with this?

However, while the new (and motivating) thrill might be gone of beginning a journey like this- one thing that I'm sure will never get old is when a situation occurs that reminds you of just how far you come and how glad you should be that you're not where you used to be. I know because I experienced one of these overwhelmingly rewarding moments the other day:

As you know I started a new job about a month ago so my weight loss (of almost 50lbs I might add!) is basically unnoticed by my new co-workers since they didn't know me 49ish pounds ago- nor do most of them know that I am even on a weight loss journey.

Well, the other day one of my co-workers named Stacey (a cute, short, 30ish, African-American girl who is always super nice and has kind of taken me under her wing) called me over to her desk; when I walked over she had her foot sticking out from under the desk with a high heel sandal that looked similar to this on:

At first I thought she was just wanting to show me her new shoes but before I could even ask if they were new, she said something to the effect of, "Um...do you ever have problems buckling your shoes? For some reason I can barely even contort my body enough to be able to fasten this strap- this is just crazy! Does this happen to you?"

And after immediately choosing to not be offended by the fact that she had clearly asked me out of the 15 other girls in our office this question since I am still overweight and she assumed that if anyone did have a problem buckling their shoes it would be me, I said, "Yea. That has happened to me before. And it is ridiculous, which is why I had to change and do something about it...in fact- I've lost almost 50lbs since November."

And sure, while it felt good to be able to say, "I've lost 50lbs"- it felt 1 MILLION times better to be able to walk away from that conversation not feeling bad about myself or making a promise or resolution that "I really should start trying to lose weight!" That I HAVE changed and that that girl who cannot strap her shoes will NEVER be me again.

Honestly, I don't know that I would be able even now to buckle a strap like that without having to hold my breath as I bend over, but you know what- some day soon, I will be able to and dang it- I'm more than on my way.

If you are still hanging in there, eating healthily, making an effort to work out, and fighting this fight then know that I'm standing and applauding you because no matter how much of you just wants to say, "Yea- but I could have lost more, worked out longer, ate better, etc." You are still here and you are NOT where you were.

Sure, things may not be as exciting and I may not feel as motivated as I was when I first started- but the imagining how great I will feel on December 31st, 2010 when I have lost at least 100lbs is worth the mundane and imagining how horrible it would feel to not have given up and fallen short of my very best on December 31st pushes me forward every day.

So let's keep moving forward-one step at a time.

Day #120, #121, #122, & #123: Goals, Goals, Goals!

2010-05-02T21:21:00.003-04:00

I started off the month of April vowing that it would be my best month yet...I'm pretty sure that I can say that it was a great month. Obviously no months seem to be as exciting as they were in the beginning but it was a good solid month of effort.

Thanks for all of the responses to my last post- I think somewhere in the mix I began to confuse this blog as needing to be some sort of informational site about health/weightloss/fitness instead of it just be a journal of my own personal weight loss- no wonder I was feeling so much pressure! I never have set out for this to be anything but my little journal and if it happens to help or be interesting to someone else along the way- great!

I'm a few days behind but I wanted to look at the goals I set for myself in April and evaluate how I did as well as set some new ones for the month of May!

Tiffany's Goal Key:
***Goal Achieved!
**Almost There!
*WOMP WOMP!

Goal 1: Track food for 1 month. * WOMP WOMP! This goal has seriously appeared on every one of my monthly goals and I can just never make it happen...mostly because I just don't really care about writing down my food intake right now. I don't think I've ever made it longer than 2 weeks with this goal, but to tell you the truth it doesn't really seem to be affecting my weight loss so I'm just gonna leave it alone for now. I'm thinking that there will come a point when the weight is coming off a bit slower and I'll have to be more strategic in what I eat and journaling will probably play a bigger role in my journey at that time. No more beating this dead horse! lol

Goal 2: Put in 4.5 hours of Cardio each week. **Almost There! I've done pretty well with this- seriously April and May will be two of my busiest months this year so I'm keeping things realistic while not completely throwing everything out the door. If there is one thing that I can say confidently right now, it is that I don't slack in the exercise department.

Goal 3: Weigh no more than 305lbs on April 30th. ***Goal Achieved! I weighed in on April 30th (and again on Sunday) at 303 :)

Goal 4: Try 2 new recipes this month. *WOMP WOMP! While I didn't get around to trying any new meal recipes this month, from my previous post you can see that I have been trying some new things. I'm hoping that as the summer comes I'll have some more time to try out some fun, healthy, and delicious meals!

Goal 5: Do at least 1 out of the box workout this month. *WOMP WOMP! Honestly, it was all I could do just to make it to the gym this month- no time for craziness :)

Goal 6: Learn to eat out in a way that is healthy and controlled. ***Goal Achieved! I'll be writing more about this in the future but for now I can confidently say I've grown leaps and bounds in this area!

Overall, April was a good month. I lost 11 pounds and honestly just kept on trekkin'- there's not much more to do than that right?

And now...my goals for the month of May!

This month will undoubtedly be one of my craziest months yet- in the next 4 weeks I am:
- Coordinating 15 senior citizen home repair projects.
- Organizing a Girls Weekend and enjoying it too!
- Beginning a new women's weekly small group.
- Coordinating 300 people in a community service day.
- Having my BFF come and visit from FL!

See? Craziness. But I love it all :)

I'm gonna keep it short and simple with my goals this month because I want to keep the main the thing the main thing- which is weight loss!

Goal 1) Weigh no more than 290lbs on May 31st. It honestly seems completely crazy for me to even write a 2 at the beginning of my weight...oh goodness! :)

Goal 2) Do 5 45min cardio sessions each week (3.75 hours).

Goal 3) Do 30 mins of strength training each week.

Goal 4) Create 1 new healthy meal option (that includes VEGGIES!)

Goal 5) Navigate eating healthily and continuing exercise while my BFF is here.

See- short n' sweet :)

What are your goals for the month of May?

Day #118 & #119: Apology Accepted?

2010-04-29T19:27:00.003-04:00

So...

No surprise- my life has been insanely busy lately. I hate that I'm not able to dedicate as much time to blogging or reading blogs recently. And truthfully, the perfectionist inside of me is always switching back and forth between feeling incredibly guilty and questioning whether I should even continue blogging.

Don't freak- I don't want to quit blogging but it's just that I feel like I'm just not the blogger I used to be- that my topics aren't as interesting and that since I can't be the dedicated fully committed blogger that I once was (when I was able to blog and read blogs pretty much all day at work), that I'm a disappointment to those who have been reading my blog since the beginning as well as to all the new readers who I just haven't had the chance to get to know the way that I was able to a few months ago.

Not sure why I'm even writing all of this but it's important for me to stay honest throughout this journey and the last thing that I would ever to with you all is feel like I'm being fake; and I'm not- I guess I'm just saying that I haven't just forgotten about blogging and I'm certainly still pursuing my goal of losing 100lbs this year- just been super busy.

I'm going to move forward with the plan that I put in place last month of blogging every other day and reading blogs the day's in between. If there has been one thing being on this journey to health has taught me it is that you prioritize that which is important to you and the truth is- this blog is important to me so I need to make it a bit more of a priority.

So there. I'm not going to harp on this anymore- just wanted to say "sorry" and that I'm still super thankful and dedicated to this amazing community.

And now on to some very cool business- I'm pumped that it's the end of the month because that means it's time to evaluate how I did on my April goals, do my monthly measurements, and set new goals for the month ahead so I'll be sharing all that good stuff in the next few days!

Cross your fingers with me because on Sunday I weighed in at 305lbs and that is what my goal for the end of April is so I'm hoping that when I weigh in tomorrow (since it's the final day of April), that I won't have gained anything. Secretly, I'm thinking that I've lost some weight- my body is changing big time and it's becoming more and more noticeable to me. VERY exciting!

And now, I'm off to watch some Survivor and catch up on your blogs!

You'll hear from me tomorrow friends :)

Day #115, #116, & #117: Mixin' it up!

2010-04-27T21:58:00.005-04:00

I really am a creature of habit. I have absolutely no problem eating the same thing for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day...well I've never tried it really, but I do eat the same things A LOT.

Lately, however- I have been trying quite a few new products that I flippin' LOVE so I figured I'd share with you all!

First New Love: Naked Juice- Green Machine!Now I've tried many of the other Naked Juice brands drinks that are more fruit based but the "Green Monster" has always been the one flavor that I've shied away from- primarily because when reading the ingredients list I came across words like: blue green algae, spinach, broccoli, and garlic... I was a bit skeptical about how appetizing this drink would actually be. Can you blame me? Well...to my utter shock and suprise- this drink is fabulous! Despite it's vegetablly (you like that word?? lol) contents, it doesn't taste like veggies at all- the taste is really more like kiwi and apples- YUM! Now, I should provide a word of caution- this drink really works better as a meal replacement (at least in my opinion) and definitely not something to do everyday, but it's something I like to work into my diet if, for example I know I'll be having a heavy dinner so I'll have a Naked juice for lunch. If you drink the entire bottle of this flavor naked juice the nutrition facts will look something like: 260 calories, 0g fat, 30mg sodium, 880g potassium, 64 carbs, 2g fiber, 50g sugar (ouch!), and 2g protein. Like I said, maybe not good for the everyday, but certainly not a horrible choice either! In fact, each bottle of Naked juice contains at least a pound of fruit in every bottle! Saweeet!

Second New Love: Almond Breeze Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk!Ok, so no doubt if you've been reading weight loss blogs for any amount of time you've probably heard of this stuff and up until last week I hadn't gotten around to giving it a shot, but now I can say that all of the fuss is indeed true- this stuff= AMAZING. First off- don't be confused- this isn't non fat milk or even soy milk, it's almond milk; meaning it is a milk substitute made from ground almonds! And unlike animal milk, almond milk contains no cholesterol or lactose, and is completely vegan. This miracle milk has only 40 calories per serving as compared to the 90-100 calories per serving that I was getting with non-fat milk. And to top it all off- this stuff taste SO good. I've been using it with my cereal (Special K Vanilla Almond), as well as in my oatmeal (High Fiber Maple and Brown Sugar) and it is just so much creamier than regular milk. Seriously, I would have a hard time believing that anyone who tries this stuff wouldn't like it- PLUS it's cheaper than regular milk- I picked up a carton the other day for $2.80 or so!

Third New Love: Sam's Club Bruschetta!

No lie- this stuff is amazing. I probably use this at least once a day and sometimes twice. Tomatoe/garlic stuff is right up my alley and I love that it is premade and I can just scoop it onto stuff and it's already ready to go! Plus it's SO low calorie and is packed with tons of flavor! In fact, I even topped my breakfast sandwhich with it the other day...I'm all about keeping things SIMPLE and this is one of the most simple and usable grocery items in my fridge! Love it!

So folks, there you have it- 3 new items that will be making a regular appearance on my daily menu!

Have you all tried any of these products? What did you think? Any new "loves" of your own?

Peace out girl scouts!

Day #112, #113, & #114: I DO have clavicles!!! :)_

2010-04-25T16:21:00.004-04:00

Hi Kiddos!

So first of all, it's weigh in day! I was pretty much anticipating a gain or at least a maintenance week after last week's B.I.G loss and turns out, I was right...

Last Week's Weight: 304
This Week's Weight: 305
Result: +1lb

I'm truthfully not very upset about the gain, like I said- big loss weeks are usually followed by...not so big loss weeks :)

Don't have a lot of time today so I figured I just share some highlights from the week:

* I had about 3 pretty killer workouts! I've consistently been able to do 30 minutes on the elliptical; I can't even tell you how suprised I still am by that; I remember when I first started working out, I thought it would be close to a year before I was able to do 30 minutes! It's definitely been one of my proudest accomplishments thus far- can't you see that twinkle in my eyes??? ;)
* So I can't go into a lot of details, but let's just say that I may or may not have a lil' crushypoo on a friend of mine and this week that "special friend" told me twice that he thought I looked great and could tell I've lost weight! I can't even tell you how great that made me feel.* So let's just say that bones are popping out of my body- in a GREAT way! It seems that anyone who has ever been overweight can sympathize with wondering if they even have a collar bone (aka- a clavicle bone) and lately mine has been making an appearance! Whoo hoo!

All of these things make for a smiley Tiffany! :)

Day #110 & #111: Grocery Store Diaries

2010-04-21T06:50:00.000-04:00

Hey Kids!

So it's actually been awhile since I've shared exactly what it is that I'm eating and what "plan" I follow- and since I had a follower ask that I elaborate on the subject, I intend to do that with my next few posts...so be sure to stay tuned! :)

Well on the subject of food, yesterday I was in dire need of a trip to the grocery store and I decided that it was a prime opportunity to check out the grocery store that so so many swear by as being the healthy food mecca- Whole Foods. In case you have never been for a visit to Whole Foods, it's basically a pretty sweet grocery store entirely dedicated to organic foods. Well, I hadn't ever actually gotten a chance to go since beginning this journey and since I have some crazy affinity for grocery shopping, I was pretty much beside myself! I usually buy most of my groceries from the beloved Trader Joe's, but I'm always up for some change!

Look, I even took a picture of the outside of the store on my way in! lol
The verdict? Sorely disappointed!!!

Seriously!! Can you believe that I actually walked out of the store with nothing!?

First off, everything there is RIDICULOUSLY overpriced! Seriously, a small container of hummus that costs almost $5, an $2 advocado, $8 peanut butter? I mean, I know that it supposedly costs more because it is organic and sometimes gluten free, but I truthfully just don't really care enough about that stuff enough to cause me to pay double (or triple) the amount that I would pay anywhere else! I was literally in shock of how much more people are paying for the items there! At Trader Joes, I find that almost everything is reasonably priced, most of it even cheaper than what I find at the regular grocery store (which here in PA, happens to be Giant Eagle) lol. You still get cool, creative, healthy food at TJ's without paying a high status price.

Secondly, everytime I go to TJ's I am in awe of how nice all of the crew members are! Seriously, they are always so pleasant and helpful and the employees of Whole Foods were snobby and acted like you pretty much didn't exist. And maybe I'm being stupid but it seemed like even the customers were kind of...hoity toity...it was weird in general.

So, in short- this girl will be sticking with Trader Joes! :)

What do you guys think? Are ya'll big Whole Foods fans? Any faithful TJ'ers out there?